"This is unbelievable. The government is shut down. Even Al Qaeda couldn't do that. Do you realize that? And as you know, all nonessential employees were sent home – like President Obama's economic team." –Jay Leno

"Obama decided we're going to arm the rebels in Syria. Yes! This is why I voted for Obama in the first place, so he could carry out McCain's bad ideas." –Bill Maher

"Did you hear about this? The IRS has admitted they were targeting conservative groups. President Obama called it outrageous and said he would immediately have his Benghazi investigators look into it." –Jay Leno

"People always say this to me: 'Hey, Letterman,' they say. 'Why don't you make jokes about Obama?' All right, I'll tell you why. I don't make jokes about him because I don't want the FBI tapping my phone, that's why." --David Letterman

"The White House announced today that the theme for President Obama's second inauguration will be 'Faith in America's Future.' The idea is to get our minds off of America's present." –Jay Leno

"President Obama easily won his home state of Illinois. In fact, in Chicago Obama got 120 percent of the vote." –Jay Leno

"Well, finally the long race is over and as usual a guy from Kenya won." –David Letterman

"Donald Trump said he'd give $5 million to charity if President Obama released his college transcripts. Obama responded by sending trump a full transcript from his alma mater, the University of Shove It Up Your Ass." –Conan O'Brien

"President Obama flew to a rally in Las Vegas last night. However, he did not visit any of the casinos. You know why? When you're $16 trillion in debt, they don't let you in." –Jay Leno

"One of President Obama's winning points last night was about how sanctions against Iran are crippling their economy. And believe me, if anyone knows how to cripple an economy, it's President Obama." –Jay Leno

"Democrats are accusing Mitt Romney of cheating during the debate. I don't know who he cheated off of, but I think we can rule out President Obama." –Jay Leno

"Obama joked this week that Bill Clinton, who has been campaigning for him, should be appointed to the role of Secretary of Explaining Stuff. Hey, you know what's another good name for that position? President." –Seth Meyers

"A man in Florida has been arrested for wearing a President Obama mask while robbing a McDonald's. To show you how good this guy's disguise was, instead of a holdup note he was reading from a teleprompter." –Jay Leno

"President Obama is brewing his own beer in the White House. Actually, the White House beer is a lot like the Obama administration – great buzz, weak finish." –Jay Leno

"President Obama admitted this week that a former girlfriend that he wrote about in his autobiography was made up and not a real person . . . So Obama had an imaginary girlfriend. Big deal! He had an imaginary economic plan. It’s all the same." –Jay Leno

(01-18-2014 11:36 PM)EagleX Wrote:  

(12-10-2013 08:21 AM)Jerry Falwell Wrote:  What's the difference between Obama & Jesus?


Jesus knew how to make a good cabinet.

People don't scream Obama's name when Jesus does something.

Jesus doesn't have an Obama complex

Remember when Playboy magazine reportedly offered Sarah Palin $4,000,000
to pose nude in an upcoming issue?

Then Michelle Obama was offered $50 by National Geographic?

And when KFC offered a "Hillary" meal, consisting of two small breasts and
two large thighs?

Now KFC is offering the "Obama Cabinet Bucket." It consists of nothing but
left wings and chicken ****.

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