I made use of a neighborhood in another thread that got me thinking about the NCAA as a neighborhood and the conferences as houses in that neighborhood. It got me thinking about how you might describe each of those houses:

The P5: Giant, palatial mega mansions at the top of the hill with a giant gate keeping any undesirables off of their sidewalks. Every possible amenity and conspicuous consumption run amok. Lots of keeping up with the Joneses.

Big East: That big Catholic family that’s pretty wealthy (although I hear one of their kids is actually Protestant and they just adopted a godless heathen) that sends their kids to private school. Did I mention their awesome basketball court outback?

AAC: A McMansion that looks pretty good from afar but when you look at the guts of it there’s some shoddy construction and the finishings are all just thin facades. Did I mention all their kids are trying to move up the hill to nicer places?

WAC: it used to be a really nice upper middle class home but has fallen into udder disrepair after those who built it moved out. The current occupants are fresh off the boat newcomers to the neighborhood.

Ivy: A really neat old colonial that’s now dwarfed by the new construction. They’ve got mahogany paneling and eat a lot of wine and cheese it no one in the neighborhood is EVER going to get invited to their members only cocktail parties

How would you describe some of the others out there?

(05-28-2020 05:20 PM)Fighting Muskie Wrote:  I made use of a neighborhood in another thread that got me thinking about the NCAA as a neighborhood and the conferences as houses in that neighborhood. It got me thinking about how you might describe each of those houses:

The P5: Giant, palatial mega mansions at the top of the hill with a giant gate keeping any undesirables off of their sidewalks. Every possible amenity and conspicuous consumption run amok. Lots of keeping up with the Joneses.

Big East: That big Catholic family that’s pretty wealthy (although I hear one of their kids is actually Protestant and they just adopted a godless heathen) that sends their kids to private school. Did I mention their awesome basketball court outback?

AAC: A McMansion that looks pretty good from afar but when you look at the guts of it there’s some shoddy construction and the finishings are all just thin facades. Did I mention all their kids are trying to move up the hill to nicer places?

WAC: it used to be a really nice upper middle class home but has fallen into udder disrepair after those who built it moved out. The current occupants are fresh off the boat newcomers to the neighborhood.

Ivy: A really neat old colonial that’s now dwarfed by the new construction. They’ve got mahogany paneling and eat a lot of wine and cheese it no one in the neighborhood is EVER going to get invited to their members only cocktail parties

SBC and C-USA: two identical mid century split levels that are built on the same lot...C-USA just has too many occupants and they all feel a little crowded.

How would you describe some of the others out there?

B1G: Well made homes full of erudite and brainy kids. They primarily play football, but tolerate the kids who prefer basketball. The new neighbors don't fit in, but everyone chooses to ignore this.

Big XII: a HUGE house on the southern end of the block who tries tell everyone what to do, with the help of his next door neighbor. They have a neighbor nobody likes because they live SO FAR AWAY!

Big Sky: Off the Grid Log Cabins full of Lumberjacks, Ranchers and anti-Government Bombers
Summit: Prairie Soddies with an outhouse in the back
Big West: Mid-Century Modern houses - all the neighbors have knocked theirs down and put up McMansions, but the Big West refuses to give up their Prop 13 savings

(05-28-2020 05:44 PM)dbackjon Wrote:  Big Sky: Off the Grid Log Cabins full of Lumberjacks, Ranchers and anti-Government Bombers
Summit: Prairie Soddies with an outhouse in the back
Big West: Mid-Century Modern houses - all the neighbors have knocked theirs down and put up McMansions, but the Big West refuses to give up their Prop 13 savings

MAC: The Levittown of the midwest.

(05-28-2020 05:20 PM)Fighting Muskie Wrote:  I made use of a neighborhood in another thread that got me thinking about the NCAA as a neighborhood and the conferences as houses in that neighborhood. It got me thinking about how you might describe each of those houses:

The P5: Giant, palatial mega mansions at the top of the hill with a giant gate keeping any undesirables off of their sidewalks. Every possible amenity and conspicuous consumption run amok. Lots of keeping up with the Joneses.

Big East: That big Catholic family that’s pretty wealthy (although I hear one of their kids is actually Protestant and they just adopted a godless heathen) that sends their kids to private school. Did I mention their awesome basketball court outback?

AAC: A McMansion that looks pretty good from afar but when you look at the guts of it there’s some shoddy construction and the finishings are all just thin facades. Did I mention all their kids are trying to move up the hill to nicer places?

WAC: it used to be a really nice upper middle class home but has fallen into udder disrepair after those who built it moved out. The current occupants are fresh off the boat newcomers to the neighborhood.

Ivy: A really neat old colonial that’s now dwarfed by the new construction. They’ve got mahogany paneling and eat a lot of wine and cheese it no one in the neighborhood is EVER going to get invited to their members only cocktail parties

How would you describe some of the others out there?

Muskie if the NCAA is a neighborhood then it is a Homeowners Association that withholds dues, fails to perform its duties, and screws over all the property owners regardless of the value of their homes. And quite frankly they are trying to bust up the neighborhood by constantly moving the subsidized homeless into it.

Definitely an HOA of the worst sort

WCC: A really pricy beach houses that would be nothing to laud over of it wasn’t for its location.

(05-28-2020 06:25 PM)Fighting Muskie Wrote:  WCC: A really pricy beach houses that would be nothing to laud over of it wasn’t for its location.

So it's literally Pepperdine.

(05-28-2020 06:55 PM)whittx Wrote:  

(05-28-2020 06:25 PM)Fighting Muskie Wrote:  WCC: A really pricy beach houses that would be nothing to laud over of it wasn’t for its location.

So it's literally Pepperdine.

When you hear "Pepperdine" and "Malibu" you think this must be a great place to go. Then you visit. it has all the ambience of a community college with soulless concrete buildings.

North Shore: IVY
Richest, but relocating to suburbia to escape the city (college football).

Gold Coast - B1G/SEC
Need their glitz and glamour to be seen by all, so what better way to flaunt their power than the luxurious highrises and mansions of the Gold Coast.

Lincoln Park - ACC/BXII/PAC
Top neighborhood, all the fun you can have, but those shot-calling CEO’s on the Gold Coast are always watching and might pluck someone if you’re not careful.

The Loop - Big East
Slightly less rich, but still in the city’s power structure.

Lake View - AAC
Boystown holds its Pride Parade every year, AAC holds its P6 Parade every year.

Beverly - A10/MWC/WCC
Mish-mash. On aggregate, they’re spending money, but there’s some who should graduate to a neighborhood above and others who should relocate below.

Logan Square - MVC/SoCon/MAC/CUSA/SBELT
Be it football or basketball, these leagues are just above median income in this large melting pot.

Chinatown - Patriot
Intelligent people with lots of similarity.

Greektown - Big West
Greeks are to Greektown what Californians are to the Big West.

Riverdale - Everyone else
They’re maintaining a Chicago address, so they’re still part of the city (D1).

The CAA would be the dysfunctional family that has seen better days.

(05-29-2020 03:21 PM)solohawks Wrote:  The CAA would be the dysfunctional family that has seen better days.

To be fair, they did manage to get a cool house in a historic neighborhood near everything in the process (CoC))

Mt West: a decent, upper middle class, two-story home. The moment you walk inside you’re blinded by bright blue shag carpet everywhere. Hideous? Perhaps, but the family has gone all-in with it.

(05-29-2020 03:33 PM)BePcr07 Wrote:  Mt West: a decent, upper middle class, two-story home. The moment you walk inside you’re blinded by bright blue shag carpet everywhere. Hideous? Perhaps, but the family has gone all-in with it.

Sounds about right. Probably has a real rustic looking exterior.

(05-29-2020 03:25 PM)whittx Wrote:  

(05-29-2020 03:21 PM)solohawks Wrote:  The CAA would be the dysfunctional family that has seen better days.

To be fair, they did manage to get a cool house in a historic neighborhood near everything in the process (CoC))

Half the family lives upstairs and the other half lives downstairs. They don't really like living together but they cant legally kick each other out and they dont have anywhere else they can move

(05-28-2020 07:07 PM)IWokeUpLikeThis Wrote:  North Shore: IVY
Richest, but relocating to suburbia to escape the city (college football).

Gold Coast - B1G/SEC
Need their glitz and glamour to be seen by all, so what better way to flaunt their power than the luxurious highrises and mansions of the Gold Coast.

Lincoln Park - ACC/BXII/PAC
Top neighborhood, all the fun you can have, but those shot-calling CEO’s on the Gold Coast are always watching and might pluck someone if you’re not careful.

The Loop - Big East
Slightly less rich, but still in the city’s power structure.

Lake View - AAC
Boystown holds its Pride Parade every year, AAC holds its P6 Parade every year.

Beverly - A10/MWC/WCC
Mish-mash. On aggregate, they’re spending money, but there’s some who should graduate to a neighborhood above and others who should relocate below.

Logan Square - MVC/SoCon/MAC/CUSA/SBELT
Be it football or basketball, these leagues are just above median income in this large melting pot.

Chinatown - Patriot
Intelligent people with lots of similarity.

Greektown - Big West
Greeks are to Greektown what Californians are to the Big West.

Riverdale - Everyone else
They’re maintaining a Chicago address, so they’re still part of the city (D1).

I like the attempt regarding Chicago neighborhoods. Some I agree with and some I think are a little off:

North Shore - Ivy
This is spot on. These people control entire industries far beyond football and don’t want to be anywhere close to any riff-raff.

Gold Coast - Big Ten
In the context of this exercise comparing conferences, this is accurate (although Lincoln Park and Lakeview are the centers of the universe when it comes to where actual Big Ten grads live).

Trump International Hotel and Tower Chicago - SEC
Whether you like the building and/or its namesake or hate them, the two things that we can all agree upon are (1) you can’t ignore it and (2) it’s expensive to live there.

Lincoln Park - ACC and Pac-12
Agree on those 2 leagues.

Lakeview - Big 12
This neighborhood is totally in the power structure of Chicago. A bit more of a range of income levels compared to the Gold Coast and Lincoln Park (ranging from lots of kids just out of college to some of the wealthiest people in the city), just like the Big 12.

South Loop - Big East
Not that many people actually live in the Loop proper. South Loop is probably the best comparison to the Big East - upscale in a great location and generally within the power structure, but the people in the wealthiest North Side neighborhoods will always be in control.

Uptown - AAC
The neighborhood that is always supposedly one step away from being the next Lincoln Park or Lakeview, but some other force *always* gets in the way. Ultimately, the people that live in Uptown will all move to the Gold Coast/Lincoln Park/Lakeview as soon as they can afford it.

Rogers Park - MWC
A lot like Uptown. The nicest parts of Rogers Park (by the lake) are better than Uptown (AKA Boise State), but the worst parts of Rogers Park are worse than Uptown.

Northwest Indiana - MAC/C-USA/Sun Belt
Geographically, it’s adjacent to the City of Chicago. Economically and culturally, it feels like a million miles away (and generally not in a good way), although it has some bright spots like a lower cost of living, lower taxes and the Indiana Dunes.