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Don't block the street fools.
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JRsec Offline
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Post: #21
RE: Don't block the street fools.
(10-21-2019 07:42 AM)AdoptedMonarch Wrote:  
(10-21-2019 07:24 AM)TigerBlue4Ever Wrote:  
(10-20-2019 06:18 PM)AdoptedMonarch Wrote:  
(10-20-2019 05:51 PM)q5sys Wrote:  We've seen this become worse and worse since around 2014, and it's going to keep getting worse. My personal theory is that after 9-11 parents changed the way they let their children interact with the world and take risks, so they've never learned how to deal with reality. Take a kid around age 5 or 6 in 2001... fast forward to 2014, they're college age. And that's about when college students started going rapidly off the rails. Suddenly they were unable to cope with daily life. There was signs of it before that a few years before, but it was the exception not the rule.
And those kids would have had some life experience before 9-11, so even if their parents changed things, they still had some years of dealing with reality during their early formative years.

I don’t know about the tie-in to 9-11, but I do believe that there has been a significant change in parenting techniques over the past 20-or-so years.

My daughter, who is now 6 years out of college, told me of a freshman dorm experiment that she and her roommates conducted. They made a list of all of the students in their dorm building (roughly 80 students in total), and guessed in advance which ones had been spanked as children and which had not. They then surveyed the students and compared guesses. They were not quite 100% in their guesses, but came very close. Their conclusion was of this totally unscientific study was that spanking had a clear impact upon personality.

My daughter and one other of her roommates were spanked as kids. The other two girls were not. Naturally, they each thought their own method of upbringing to be the better approach.

I never had to lay a hand on my son after he turned 8 or my daughter after she turned 5 around the same time. Spankings prior to that were a given for acting up. They both turned out wonderfully.

Our approaches were very similar. My own personal rule was that swattings - - on either the hand or the backside - - for misbehavior were appropriate between the ages of 3 and 5. On each of their 6-year-old birthdays I told them that they were now too old to be spanked, and that I expected them to act as responsible children. (Although I have to admit that I violated this age-out rule at least twice in the case of my youngest).

We have two daughters. Spanking was non existent past age 6, but not because we had a rule about that. Spanking was administered when 1 played with matches and when the other was caught lying. Neither received another simply because they didn't violate anything major again.

Our method of punishment was the restriction of rights and in the teenage years the punishment was absolute and my wife and I agreed that no leniency would be granted on these rules. One did without their car and lost pone privileges (before cell phones) for a month for curfew violation. That punishment was tough for us at the time since she picked our other daughter up from school. So my wife and I took turns leaving our work long enough to get them home. Our sacrifice proved to be the indelible lesson. She realized that we were not going to be impinged in enforcement by our personal difficulty. She never pushed the rules again and uses this discipline with her children, and uses it effectively.

The philosophy we've operated by is that the word "no" and its enforcement is the most important thing your child can hear and receive through the age of 12. If they learn "no" then by the time they are 13 the most important word you can tell them is "yes". The "yes" is the reward for trust and expresses confidence in their decision making. But, it only works if they first learned "no".

What I see happening in our society today is that the "state" is giving our children an universal "yes", without first instilling the disciplined "no" and that the "state" is doing so in exchange for their control over our children and their value systems. The theft of the children by the state and from the parents started a few decades back. An amoral society that seeks approval from the state rather than the parents is now what we are getting for parents across the country not saying "no" to the state when it started stealing the authority over the children.

As with all freedoms and rights, because the few irresponsible or abusive parents among us % wise were the subject of TV publicity we allowed ourselves to bamboozled out of the role of approval givers and disciplinarians for our children. The "state" completed this transition when parents became afraid to use physical discipline for fear of being reported by their kids to their teachers. From that point on the "state" had the upper hand and we ceased to have family values as those were replaced by the new approval giver, the state.
(This post was last modified: 10-21-2019 09:56 AM by JRsec.)
10-21-2019 09:51 AM
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olliebaba Offline
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Post: #22
RE: Don't block the street fools.
I stopped spanking them at an early age. I would send them to their room. My wife would discipline them by telling them that she was going to tell me about their misdeed.

One time I remembered my father telling my older brother to cry out when he (my father) would hit a chair with his belt to fool my mom into thinking he was getting a whopping. I tried it on my youngest son but it didn't work, he started crying for real every time I struck the chair, I couldn't stop laughing.
10-21-2019 03:19 PM
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VA49er Offline
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Post: #23
RE: Don't block the street fools.
I usually found that the threat of a spanking usually made my kids straigthen up pretty quickly. I've been blessed to with good kids so far. Now come the teenage years....
10-21-2019 03:21 PM
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Captain Bearcat Offline
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Post: #24
RE: Don't block the street fools.
(10-21-2019 09:51 AM)JRsec Wrote:  
(10-21-2019 07:42 AM)AdoptedMonarch Wrote:  
(10-21-2019 07:24 AM)TigerBlue4Ever Wrote:  
(10-20-2019 06:18 PM)AdoptedMonarch Wrote:  
(10-20-2019 05:51 PM)q5sys Wrote:  We've seen this become worse and worse since around 2014, and it's going to keep getting worse. My personal theory is that after 9-11 parents changed the way they let their children interact with the world and take risks, so they've never learned how to deal with reality. Take a kid around age 5 or 6 in 2001... fast forward to 2014, they're college age. And that's about when college students started going rapidly off the rails. Suddenly they were unable to cope with daily life. There was signs of it before that a few years before, but it was the exception not the rule.
And those kids would have had some life experience before 9-11, so even if their parents changed things, they still had some years of dealing with reality during their early formative years.

I don’t know about the tie-in to 9-11, but I do believe that there has been a significant change in parenting techniques over the past 20-or-so years.

My daughter, who is now 6 years out of college, told me of a freshman dorm experiment that she and her roommates conducted. They made a list of all of the students in their dorm building (roughly 80 students in total), and guessed in advance which ones had been spanked as children and which had not. They then surveyed the students and compared guesses. They were not quite 100% in their guesses, but came very close. Their conclusion was of this totally unscientific study was that spanking had a clear impact upon personality.

My daughter and one other of her roommates were spanked as kids. The other two girls were not. Naturally, they each thought their own method of upbringing to be the better approach.

I never had to lay a hand on my son after he turned 8 or my daughter after she turned 5 around the same time. Spankings prior to that were a given for acting up. They both turned out wonderfully.

Our approaches were very similar. My own personal rule was that swattings - - on either the hand or the backside - - for misbehavior were appropriate between the ages of 3 and 5. On each of their 6-year-old birthdays I told them that they were now too old to be spanked, and that I expected them to act as responsible children. (Although I have to admit that I violated this age-out rule at least twice in the case of my youngest).

We have two daughters. Spanking was non existent past age 6, but not because we had a rule about that. Spanking was administered when 1 played with matches and when the other was caught lying. Neither received another simply because they didn't violate anything major again.

Our method of punishment was the restriction of rights and in the teenage years the punishment was absolute and my wife and I agreed that no leniency would be granted on these rules. One did without their car and lost pone privileges (before cell phones) for a month for curfew violation. That punishment was tough for us at the time since she picked our other daughter up from school. So my wife and I took turns leaving our work long enough to get them home. Our sacrifice proved to be the indelible lesson. She realized that we were not going to be impinged in enforcement by our personal difficulty. She never pushed the rules again and uses this discipline with her children, and uses it effectively.

The philosophy we've operated by is that the word "no" and its enforcement is the most important thing your child can hear and receive through the age of 12. If they learn "no" then by the time they are 13 the most important word you can tell them is "yes". The "yes" is the reward for trust and expresses confidence in their decision making. But, it only works if they first learned "no".

What I see happening in our society today is that the "state" is giving our children an universal "yes", without first instilling the disciplined "no" and that the "state" is doing so in exchange for their control over our children and their value systems. The theft of the children by the state and from the parents started a few decades back. An amoral society that seeks approval from the state rather than the parents is now what we are getting for parents across the country not saying "no" to the state when it started stealing the authority over the children.

As with all freedoms and rights, because the few irresponsible or abusive parents among us % wise were the subject of TV publicity we allowed ourselves to bamboozled out of the role of approval givers and disciplinarians for our children. The "state" completed this transition when parents became afraid to use physical discipline for fear of being reported by their kids to their teachers. From that point on the "state" had the upper hand and we ceased to have family values as those were replaced by the new approval giver, the state.

Great strategy.

I heard a great analogy once: every hour you spend "parenting" before age 4 ends up paying off double or triple the amount of time when they get older.
10-21-2019 05:44 PM
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CrimsonPhantom Offline
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Post: #25
RE: Don't block the street fools.
10-22-2019 01:05 PM
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olliebaba Offline
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Post: #26
RE: Don't block the street fools.
(10-21-2019 03:21 PM)VA49er Wrote:  I usually found that the threat of a spanking usually made my kids straigthen up pretty quickly. I've been blessed to with good kids so far. Now come the teenage years....

I'll pray for you. The worst part is when they discover sex. Hoo wee, my youngest son had to marry in order to join the military. We tried to warn him but he even got mad. Live and Learn, he found out.
10-22-2019 06:26 PM
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VA49er Offline
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Post: #27
RE: Don't block the street fools.
(10-22-2019 06:26 PM)olliebaba Wrote:  
(10-21-2019 03:21 PM)VA49er Wrote:  I usually found that the threat of a spanking usually made my kids straigthen up pretty quickly. I've been blessed to with good kids so far. Now come the teenage years....

I'll pray for you. The worst part is when they discover sex. Hoo wee, my youngest son had to marry in order to join the military. We tried to warn him but he even got mad. Live and Learn, he found out.

I'm installing a lock on the outside of my daughter's bedroom door. j/k, but not really. lol
10-23-2019 08:15 AM
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Owl 69/70/75 Offline
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Post: #28
RE: Don't block the street fools.
Through junior high, my son attended religious-based private schools because the public schools in our area were atrocious. His classmates typically had very stringent rules imposed upon them by their very religious parents. My son had much looser rules because he knew how to behave. Apparently, some of those classmates ad been told by their parents that the rules were strict because, "We love you." So apparently some of them asked him, "Why don't you have such strict rules? Do your parents not love you?" So he asked me. I answered, "Remember when you were 3, 4, or 5, and if you screwed up we spanked you? We were teaching you the difference between right and wrong. You learned the difference so now you don't need all those rules." He replied, "I didn't like it when you did, but now I am sure glad that you did."
10-23-2019 08:51 AM
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stinkfist Offline
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Post: #29
RE: Don't block the street fools.
(10-23-2019 08:15 AM)VA49er Wrote:  
(10-22-2019 06:26 PM)olliebaba Wrote:  
(10-21-2019 03:21 PM)VA49er Wrote:  I usually found that the threat of a spanking usually made my kids straigthen up pretty quickly. I've been blessed to with good kids so far. Now come the teenage years....

I'll pray for you. The worst part is when they discover sex. Hoo wee, my youngest son had to marry in order to join the military. We tried to warn him but he even got mad. Live and Learn, he found out.

I'm installing a lock on the outside of my daughter's bedroom door. j/k, but not really. lol

lol....

#chastity

04-cheers
10-23-2019 12:01 PM
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stinkfist Offline
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Post: #30
RE: Don't block the street fools.
(10-23-2019 08:51 AM)Owl 69/70/75 Wrote:  Through junior high, my son attended religious-based private schools because the public schools in our area were atrocious. His classmates typically had very stringent rules imposed upon them by their very religious parents. My son had much looser rules because he knew how to behave. Apparently, some of those classmates ad been told by their parents that the rules were strict because, "We love you." So apparently some of them asked him, "Why don't you have such strict rules? Do your parents not love you?" So he asked me. I answered, "Remember when you were 3, 4, or 5, and if you screwed up we spanked you? We were teaching you the difference between right and wrong. You learned the difference so now you don't need all those rules." He replied, "I didn't like it when you did, but now I am sure glad that you did."

oh my, does that hit 'home'...

you just described my father and thine...

#Pride
10-23-2019 12:04 PM
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Fo Shizzle Offline
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Post: #31
RE: Don't block the street fools.
I snatched a knot in my daughter a couple of times for defying me and disrespecting her mother. Usually though.. just taking stuff away from her was sufficient to change behavior. I installed a mantra with her...."The more responsibility you show..the more freedom you get." That seemed somehow to hit home with her and I never really had much problem with her later on. She grew up saying "yes and no ma'am and sir" to her elders and still does at age 30. She has thanked us for instilling manners and common sense in her. Im prouder of this than any personal accomplishment of mine.
10-24-2019 06:37 PM
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stinkfist Offline
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Post: #32
RE: Don't block the street fools.
(10-24-2019 06:37 PM)Fo Shizzle Wrote:  I snatched a knot in my daughter a couple of times for defying me and disrespecting her mother. Usually though.. just taking stuff away from her was sufficient to change behavior. I installed a mantra with her...."The more responsibility you show..the more freedom you get." That seemed somehow to hit home with her and I never really had much problem with her later on. She grew up saying "yes and no ma'am and sir" to her elders and still does at age 30. She has thanked us for instilling manners and common sense in her. Im prouder of this than any personal accomplishment of mine.

"humility and respect"....it's the title of the book and why sig line 3....
10-25-2019 02:09 AM
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