RE: SoCon Asheville Boycott
I wish you weren't, but you are incorrect in saying the initial ordinance put in place by Charlotte was also a solution in search of a problem. Perhaps you are unaware at how awful transgender people are treated everywhere, to include Charlotte? By far, transgender people are harassed, attacked, raped and murdered, often over simple bathroom use, every single day, all over the country. Outside of bathrooms, both homosexual and transgender people can still be fired, just for being themselves, in most locations. Basically, my son could get a job in NC (or many other states) and be a model employee. However, his employer, who can't stand gay people, finds out he is gay, and can just fire him because of that. Sexual orientation and gender identity are not protected classes like gender and race. My transgender friend, who lives in NC, is underemployed, because many people just will not hire a transgender woman, during transition. Charlotte NC saw the problem and put out a very comprehensive ordinance to help protect the rights of LGTBQ people. At the state level, NC didn't like it and retaliated.
In addition to my son, I have three daughters ages 13, 13 and 17. I will ask you to understand that I have a large stake in the safety of women and girls because of that. I think laws restricting bathrooms to some concept of birth gender or what's on birth certificate are ways to use the guise of safety for women and girls, in a way to discriminate against transgender people. The safety line is a nice load of BS. This is not how you create safe bathrooms. For one, it's IMPOSSIBLE to enforce. I'd love for someone to tell me, other than a potty guard at all public restrooms, how do you plan to enforce something so insane? And then what criteria is used to decide who is allowed where. A transgender man (born female, but now looks completely male, at least until you have them drop their drawers) is going to look really out of place in the women's restroom. And who's to say that person that looks like a man to everyone around them is really truly transgender? Why can't some random man just go in the women's restroom in NC and say, well I was born man, so the law says I must be in here? Does the security guard do a genital check? How far are you willing to go to enforce this?
What about some poor lady who isn't transgender? She likes to keep her hair short and is built a bit more manly. Maybe she dresses in clothes that are kind of manly. Is someone going to harass her in the bathroom saying she doesn't belong? HB2 has given people free reign to bother anyone that doesn't fit their mold of what a specific gender looks like.
To think bathrooms were safe for women at any point, is very naïve. Before these laws, my mother taught me to always pay attention when going to a public restroom and think in terms of my own safety. I've passed along those guidelines to my children, no matter their gender or sexual orientation. Situational awareness, EVERYWHERE. There is no magic force field on the women's bathroom door to prevent a man from following me into a secluded restroom when I'm alone.
And then the premise that only men do harm is insane to me. There are women that molest and attack children too. And if these men in public restrooms are so horrible and would do so much wrong to the women and girls, why is it ok to send young boys into the men's room with them? I was more concerned sending my son to the restroom alone when he was 10-12 years old than I was with my girls. If I was out with the kids alone, I could go with the girls into the restroom, but taking an 8-12 year old boy into the women's restroom is considered inappropriate by many, so he had to go into the men's room alone.
Look at the ENTIRE picture here. If it's really about bathroom safety, then there are plenty of things that can be done that doesn't discriminate against people. But no one cared about that until the whole idea of letting transgender people outright legally use the restrooms that they feel the most comfortable using (with legal protections if they are harassed or attacked). The idea that gender isn't binary is uncomfortable for people. I get that. But to use that discomfort to be a jerk is a whole different story.
I'm not going to brand people bigots for their concerns. But I do want people to see all sides and realize that there are solutions that address safety for everyone. There are valid safety concerns, but NC isn't fixing anything, with that one part of HB2.
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