The unofficial online home for fans of the UAB Blazers. Part of Collegiate Sports Nation (CSN).

You had me at executed.

"...go to hell or Tuscaloosa."

That may be the best one line in the speech and that I have ever heard.

As Chief of Advertising for your campaign, I will be including that in some of the propaganda.

(08-17-2012 12:46 PM)Uncle BLAZER Wrote:  "...go to hell or Tuscaloosa."

With all due respect to Brother 58-56, who would get my vote as well, I found this redundant.

If 58-56 were UAB President, he would need a secret service level of protection.

(08-17-2012 11:13 AM)58-56 Wrote:  When I take office as president, the stadium and athletics are not my first priorities.

First, I will restore the university's mission to provide excellence in education to adult and working students. Classes will once again start at 6 a.m. and continue until midnight.

Second, I will raise the level of excellence in undergraduate education: tenure-track faculty will teach, they will produce, or they will die. Overuse and abuse of adjuncts will no longer be tolerated. A world-class university must be more than its medical programs; the levels of sloth and dysfunction in certain west-side departments are unacceptable. "All books are equal" is the statement of a blithering moron and said moron will be stripped naked and fed to Blaze on the first sunrise of my administration, and replaced with an actual scholar. We will have no more Academic Callaways. UAB must stand for excellence and no impediments to this standard will be tolerated; those who do not wish to meet such standards can go to hell or Tuscaloosa. The days of monotone lectures, showing movies in place of teaching, running travel agencies out of your office and collecting a check for sitting on your ever-fattening ass are over.

Third, the Golden Girl squad will be doubled in numbers and given full scholarships. I will pay whatever is necessary to sign the Amazing Blonde Sparkplug to serve as head of this program, and she will be tasked to teach her unique style to all members.

Fourth, the football DJ will be executed. There will be no appeal.

Fifth, the Southside Rejuvenation Plan in conjunction with the city of Birmingham must be pushed through to its logical conclusion, and that includes the new Garrison Stadium plus a monorail. We must have a monorail!

This I will bring to you as your president.

:towel::clap2::clap2::clap2: BPOTD! UTD!!!!

(08-17-2012 10:05 AM)ATTALLABLAZE Wrote:  We have all sat here and predicted the end after ever single Presidential change and it has not happened. I suspect our next President will step in and learn where all the bodies are buried and will continue where all our other presidents have left off. UAB Athletics could have been killed many times over and it is still here. They have had more than one opportunity to do it. The entire board is not out to get UAB. There are three guys over there in Espy, Jr, and St John that are the problem. What we need to do is stop perpetuating that the board is out to get UAB even if it is otherwise we will act out a self fulfilling prophesy and certain board members will have not had to lift a finger.

Do we need to fight? Yes but we need to pick our battles. Right now our perception is that we are small band of whiny fans that cry wolf every time something happens.

Step away from the ledge and let's all put our money where our mouth is and support UAB Athletics the best we can.

This

(08-17-2012 11:13 AM)58-56 Wrote:  When I take office as president, the stadium and athletics are not my first priorities.

First, I will restore the university's mission to provide excellence in education to adult and working students. Classes will once again start at 6 a.m. and continue until midnight.

Second, I will raise the level of excellence in undergraduate education: tenure-track faculty will teach, they will produce, or they will die. Overuse and abuse of adjuncts will no longer be tolerated. A world-class university must be more than its medical programs; the levels of sloth and dysfunction in certain west-side departments are unacceptable. "All books are equal" is the statement of a blithering moron and said moron will be stripped naked and fed to Blaze on the first sunrise of my administration, and replaced with an actual scholar. We will have no more Academic Callaways. UAB must stand for excellence and no impediments to this standard will be tolerated; those who do not wish to meet such standards can go to hell or Tuscaloosa. The days of monotone lectures, showing movies in place of teaching, running travel agencies out of your office and collecting a check for sitting on your ever-fattening ass are over.

Third, the Golden Girl squad will be doubled in numbers and given full scholarships. I will pay whatever is necessary to sign the Amazing Blonde Sparkplug to serve as head of this program, and she will be tasked to teach her unique style to all members.

Fourth, the football DJ will be executed. There will be no appeal.

Fifth, the Southside Rejuvenation Plan in conjunction with the city of Birmingham must be pushed through to its logical conclusion, and that includes the new Garrison Stadium plus a monorail. We must have a monorail!

This I will bring to you as your president.

It's about dad-gum time.

Have you been suffering from writer's block for awhile and/or did you decide to hit the bottle early today?!?!?

(08-17-2012 10:05 AM)ATTALLABLAZE Wrote:  We have all sat here and predicted the end after ever single Presidential change and it has not happened. I suspect our next President will step in and learn where all the bodies are buried and will continue where all our other presidents have left off. UAB Athletics could have been killed many times over and it is still here. They have had more than one opportunity to do it. The entire board is not out to get UAB. There are three guys over there in Espy, Jr, and St John that are the problem. What we need to do is stop perpetuating that the board is out to get UAB even if it is otherwise we will act out a self fulfilling prophesy and certain board members will have not had to lift a finger.

Do we need to fight? Yes but we need to pick our battles. Right now our perception is that we are small band of whiny fans that cry wolf every time something happens.

Step away from the ledge and let's all put our money where our mouth is and support UAB Athletics the best we can.

+2

A very good post. We need to get busy and raise money and attend events with real tickets. (I am very bad at seeking and getting discounts/freebees rather than pay my own way)

I admit to being one who has been afraid of black helicopters coming from the east not the west. So, I hope you are right. However, even if they do land - you are still right in that it will NOT be the end of UAB athletics. Just a covert mission to reduce the athletic subsidies and keep the money for research enterprices. A true budget freeze is the probable worse outcome,

The first tea leaf will be whehter the new president come from the SOM side. As I have heard them say replace the nurse with a real doctor. But remember Scotty, IMO the best president for athletics was from the east side

Quote:The first tea leaf will be whehter the new president come from the SOM side. As I have heard them say replace the nurse with a real doctor.

I've heard this also. They will not approve of my candidacy. Yet even though I'm not a medical doctor, I did earn my doctorate at a top-ranked school that combines medical AND non-medical academic excellence. It can and must be done; this is not a zero-sum game. UAB must become a complete university displaying the very best in the undergrad, graduate, medical AND athletic areas. I bridge these areas. I can deliver this excellence.

Quote:Have you been suffering from writer's block for awhile and/or did you decide to hit the bottle early today?

I have a new purpose. My university needs me.

And while I'm on a roll:

This reminds me of why Finis St. John the Fourth is so full of **** his eyes are brown. Recommending that a university scale back in one area to concentrate in another is the talk of a career second-rater, of one who has never had to work and fight for excellence, who earned his place thanks to the genetic lottery and a timely tragic death.

There is no excuse for settling for anything less than excellence across the board. In every endeavor, UAB must become a watchword for real achievement. As Joseph Volker built the foundation, as Sam "Everybody Calls Me Dick" Hill and Scotty McCallum raised the walls and mumble mumble mumbled and Carol Z Garrison put up the beams for our roof, our new president must crown the cathedral of the dragon. Medical excellence is not enough, nor research excellence nor any other individual segment.

We need a president with vision for this new century. It is time UAB threw off the shackles of crimson oppression and led this city to its deserved and glorious future.

Amen

58-56, can you stand the paycut?

(08-16-2012 04:42 PM)FNblazer Wrote:  Bammer gets to hand-pick the new president. Football lease expires in 2013. What happens next?

(08-16-2012 06:13 PM)Memphis Blazer Wrote:  I was just goofing on Blazertalk's tendency to get behind one candidate as the " it's this guy or the end of the program" candidate

(08-16-2012 06:38 PM)ATTALLABLAZE Wrote:  Didn't we all claim gloom and doom after ever president change? Let's just step back off the ledge and see what happens.

Oh and I vote for TJ Cleveland for President.

(08-16-2012 06:39 PM)Smaug Wrote:  Gonna miss Dr. G.

(08-16-2012 08:11 PM)Memphis Blazer Wrote:  Somebody retires and suddenly its the end of the world. Get a grip, people.

(08-16-2012 09:35 PM)Memphis Blazer Wrote:  

(08-16-2012 08:34 PM)Uncle BLAZER Wrote:  

(08-16-2012 08:11 PM)Memphis Blazer Wrote:  Somebody retires and suddenly its the end of the world. Get a grip, people.

Who has lost their grip? I think the comments so far have been pretty tame and normal reactions for this crowd. You know there is most likely much more to the story than her just retiring. I think you just get off on making comments like you are somehow much more level headed and enlightened than other people.
This is a pretty big topic of discussion. People can vent and say whatever they want without losing their grip. Again, I don't see where anyone has. Nobody is slitting their wrists over it. But the comments made are all in the realm of reality considering past events.

She is one of the longest serving presidents ever. There is no indication that it is anything more than a retirement. This thread does not represent that.

I quit quoting at page 6. This whole thread could use another read-through