A Republican, in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked,

"Is that Jesus sitting over there?"

The waitress nodded "yes," so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.

The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus, over there?" The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there honey! How's about gettin' me a cold mug of Miller Lite?" He too looked across the restaurantand asked, "Isn't that God's boy over there?

The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold beer.

"On my bill," he said loudly.

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.

Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up and he raised his hands, praised the Lord, and did a series of back flips out the door.

Then, Jesus walked towards the Democrat, just smiling.

The Democrat jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me .. I'm collecting disability."

Heh...

...really? All the good 'ole boys get a good laugh at that one huh?

A drug addict, a college drop out and Rush Limbaugh walk into a bar...... and it's the same guy

(02-14-2012 02:23 AM)UCF08 Wrote:  ...really? All the good 'ole boys get a good laugh at that one huh?

Who is this guy?

Love and serve w/out condition? Nice try, but there are plenty of conditions in the gospels. And "love" can often mean expecting someone to do the hard thing, not just handing out freebies.

So this quote is wrong. It's more demonstration how the feminist mindset has corrupted the US church.

The U.S. Church? Never heard of it...

Hysterical! For a joke to be truly funny it must have an element of truth to it. This definitely fills that requirement.

(02-14-2012 04:42 AM)Mr. Peanut Wrote:  A drug addict, a college drop out and Rush Limbaugh walk into a bar...... and it's the same guy

Obama walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender say "nice pet, where did you get it?" The parrot says "Kenya."

(02-14-2012 04:42 AM)Mr. Peanut Wrote:  A drug addict, a college drop out and Rush Limbaugh walk into a bar...... and it's the same guy

Yet he is rolling in all the $$$ that he makes.

(02-14-2012 05:35 PM)GrayBeard Wrote:  

(02-14-2012 04:42 AM)Mr. Peanut Wrote:  A drug addict, a college drop out and Rush Limbaugh walk into a bar...... and it's the same guy

Yet he is rolling in all the $$$ that he makes.

Dims only care when the drug addict is a Republican. Otherwise, they champion it as "free choice" and "enlightened".

(02-14-2012 08:48 AM)bitcruncher Wrote:  The U.S. Church? Never heard of it...

If I'm reading it right he is speaking of the Christians in the country.

THE Church is not a building but the actualy body of Christians.

A church is a building.

What he's saying is ludicrous. It's not any church that pushing anything. It's the extremists within the various churches that are pushing agendas forward, and they're a small, but vocal minority. The vast majority have other things to worry about...

(02-16-2012 10:35 AM)bitcruncher Wrote:  What he's saying is ludicrous. It's not any church that pushing anything. It's the extremists within the various churches that are pushing agendas forward, and they're a small, but vocal minority. The vast majority have other things to worry about...

What other things? Their agendas?

Most churches have an agenda that includes proselytization. Even if it's just an offer to have people visit so they can see the benefits that church offers.

You make no sense talking about a small, vocal minority of "extremists". None.

(02-16-2012 11:02 AM)DrTorch Wrote:  Most churches have an agenda that includes proselytization. Even if it's just an offer to have people visit so they can see the benefits that church offers.

Especially the Jehovah's Witnesses.

(02-14-2012 11:26 PM)Rebel Wrote:  

(02-14-2012 05:35 PM)GrayBeard Wrote:  

(02-14-2012 04:42 AM)Mr. Peanut Wrote:  A drug addict, a college drop out and Rush Limbaugh walk into a bar...... and it's the same guy

Yet he is rolling in all the $$$ that he makes.

Dims only care when the drug addict is a Republican. Otherwise, they champion it as "free choice" and "enlightened".

You're not very bright are you?

(02-16-2012 05:25 PM)Mr. Peanut Wrote:  

(02-14-2012 11:26 PM)Rebel Wrote:  

(02-14-2012 05:35 PM)GrayBeard Wrote:  

(02-14-2012 04:42 AM)Mr. Peanut Wrote:  A drug addict, a college drop out and Rush Limbaugh walk into a bar...... and it's the same guy

Yet he is rolling in all the $$$ that he makes.

Dims only care when the drug addict is a Republican. Otherwise, they champion it as "free choice" and "enlightened".

You're not very bright are you?

Aha, so you can't really address the statement, so you try (really pathetic) snark. Typical of the left, as they are more and more desperate to avoid dealing with the mess they've made.

Just what is wrong w/ being a college drop out? Bill Gates is one. So are many others, some of whom take care of their families. Some just recognize opportunities and pursue them.

A successful man defines his own path and he's ridiculed by the left, instead of praised. This is just another example of the left's hatred of people.

This was pretty good, I laughed out loud in class.

(02-17-2012 08:51 AM)DrTorch Wrote:  

(02-16-2012 05:25 PM)Mr. Peanut Wrote:  

(02-14-2012 11:26 PM)Rebel Wrote:  

(02-14-2012 05:35 PM)GrayBeard Wrote:  

(02-14-2012 04:42 AM)Mr. Peanut Wrote:  A drug addict, a college drop out and Rush Limbaugh walk into a bar...... and it's the same guy

Yet he is rolling in all the $$$ that he makes.

Dims only care when the drug addict is a Republican. Otherwise, they champion it as "free choice" and "enlightened".

You're not very bright are you?

Aha, so you can't really address the statement, so you try (really pathetic) snark. Typical of the left, as they are more and more desperate to avoid dealing with the mess they've made.

Just what is wrong w/ being a college drop out? Bill Gates is one. So are many others, some of whom take care of their families. Some just recognize opportunities and pursue them.

A successful man defines his own path and he's ridiculed by the left, instead of praised. This is just another example of the left's hatred of people.

Is Rush Limbaugh in fact Rush Limbaugh?
Is Rush Limbaugh in fact a drug addict?
Is Rush Limbaugh in fact a college dropout? (along with hannity)
If the answer to those 3 things is yes then what are you talking about?

(02-17-2012 04:09 PM)Mr. Peanut Wrote:  what are you talking about?

If you can't understand basic English, then why do you think you offer anything of intellectual value?

(02-17-2012 04:09 PM)Mr. Peanut Wrote:  Is Rush Limbaugh in fact Rush Limbaugh?
Is Rush Limbaugh in fact a drug addict?
Is Rush Limbaugh in fact a college dropout? (along with hannity)

OK, I get it now. Drug addict drop outs can become millionaires on their own so they should stop asking for handouts. Cool.