Quote:
Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were:

1. The invention of beer, and

2. The invention of the wheel.

The wheel was invented to get man to the beer, and the beer to the man.

These facts formed the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals

2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered , it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery.That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men.

Some noteworthy Liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs, the evolution o f the Hollywood actor, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide all the meat and beer that Conservatives provided.

Over the years, Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jacka55.

Modern Liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard Liberal fare.

Another interesting evolutionary side note:
most Liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are Liberals.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboy s, firemen, lumberjacks, construction workers, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the Liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for
nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history.

It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.

A conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers, and to more Liberals.......
just to piss them off.

---Researcher Unknown

Liberals have better taste in beer.

Quote:Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys , firemen, lumberjacks, construction workers, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

So, basically, conservatives are the Village People?

(02-25-2011 09:53 AM)BlazerFan11 Wrote:  Liberals have better taste in beer.

Quote:Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys , firemen, lumberjacks, construction workers, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

So, basically, conservatives are the Village People?

REAL, not fake like those idiots in the VP.

.... is that they want to control different aspects of your life through big government.


Amidoinitrite?

(02-25-2011 09:56 AM)georgia_tech_swagger Wrote:  .... is that they want to control different aspects of your life through big government.


Amidoinitrite?

I said conservatives, not Republicans.

(02-25-2011 09:53 AM)BlazerFan11 Wrote:  Liberals have better taste in beer.

Quote:Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys , firemen, lumberjacks, construction workers, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

So, basically, conservatives are the Village People?

(02-25-2011 09:53 AM)BlazerFan11 Wrote:  Liberals have better taste in beer.

Quote:Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys , firemen, lumberjacks, construction workers, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

So, basically, conservatives are the Village People?

VP were queers not conservatives.

(02-25-2011 10:37 AM)SumOfAllFears Wrote:  

(02-25-2011 09:53 AM)BlazerFan11 Wrote:  Liberals have better taste in beer.

Quote:Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys , firemen, lumberjacks, construction workers, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

So, basically, conservatives are the Village People?

VP were queers not conservatives.

Which one was Mark Foley?

(02-25-2011 01:16 PM)Mr. Peanut Wrote:  

(02-25-2011 10:37 AM)SumOfAllFears Wrote:  

(02-25-2011 09:53 AM)BlazerFan11 Wrote:  Liberals have better taste in beer.

Quote:Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys , firemen, lumberjacks, construction workers, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

So, basically, conservatives are the Village People?

VP were queers not conservatives.

Which one was Mark Foley?

The one no longer in Congress. Where's Bawney Fwank?

(02-25-2011 01:17 PM)Rebel Wrote:  

(02-25-2011 01:16 PM)Mr. Peanut Wrote:  

(02-25-2011 10:37 AM)SumOfAllFears Wrote:  

(02-25-2011 09:53 AM)BlazerFan11 Wrote:  Liberals have better taste in beer.

Quote:Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys , firemen, lumberjacks, construction workers, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

So, basically, conservatives are the Village People?

VP were queers not conservatives.

Which one was Mark Foley?

The one no longer in Congress. Where's Bawney Fwank?

Hey Barney is one gay dude but he's not hiding a thing and the voters don't seem to mind

(02-25-2011 01:26 PM)Mr. Peanut Wrote:  

(02-25-2011 01:17 PM)Rebel Wrote:  

(02-25-2011 01:16 PM)Mr. Peanut Wrote:  

(02-25-2011 10:37 AM)SumOfAllFears Wrote:  

(02-25-2011 09:53 AM)BlazerFan11 Wrote:  Liberals have better taste in beer.


So, basically, conservatives are the Village People?

VP were queers not conservatives.

Which one was Mark Foley?

The one no longer in Congress. Where's Bawney Fwank?

Hey Barney is one gay dude but he's not hiding a thing and the voters don't seem to mind

...except for how his policies precipitated the housing collapse.

Quote:The difference between liberals and conservatives

Patchouli scent.

(02-25-2011 09:53 AM)BlazerFan11 Wrote:  Liberals have better taste in beer.

Quote:Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys , firemen, lumberjacks, construction workers, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

So, basically, conservatives are the Village People?

I gotta give you that one

(02-25-2011 01:26 PM)Mr. Peanut Wrote:  

(02-25-2011 01:17 PM)Rebel Wrote:  

(02-25-2011 01:16 PM)Mr. Peanut Wrote:  

(02-25-2011 10:37 AM)SumOfAllFears Wrote:  

(02-25-2011 09:53 AM)BlazerFan11 Wrote:  Liberals have better taste in beer.


So, basically, conservatives are the Village People?

VP were queers not conservatives.

Which one was Mark Foley?

The one no longer in Congress. Where's Bawney Fwank?

Hey Barney is one gay dude but he's not hiding a thing and the voters don't seem to mind

That says more about the voters than B Frank.

(02-25-2011 10:23 PM)smn1256 Wrote:  

(02-25-2011 01:26 PM)Mr. Peanut Wrote:  

(02-25-2011 01:17 PM)Rebel Wrote:  

(02-25-2011 01:16 PM)Mr. Peanut Wrote:  

(02-25-2011 10:37 AM)SumOfAllFears Wrote:  VP were queers not conservatives.

Which one was Mark Foley?

The one no longer in Congress. Where's Bawney Fwank?

Hey Barney is one gay dude but he's not hiding a thing and the voters don't seem to mind

That says more about the voters than B Frank.

It says they care about what he does (for his constituents) than who he does. I would vote for a left handed, gay, muslim, abortionist that could lead this country (I know I already did) over an unqualified hetrosexual, christian 100% of the time.

(02-26-2011 08:38 AM)Mr. Peanut Wrote:  over an unqualified hetrosexual, christian 100% of the time.

Well you voted for an unqualified heterosexual christian in Obama, so clearly you're not opposed to it.

Fool.