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The Longest Thread
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El_Fantastico Offline
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Post: #61
RE: The Longest Thread
If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
02-11-2008 10:00 AM
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El_Fantastico Offline
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Post: #62
RE: The Longest Thread
The Sherman tank was originaly called the Norris tank until Chuck Norris decided it wasn't tough enough to be associated with him. The Army, for fear of Chuck Norris, renamed the tank and promised to develop a weapon more fitting of his name. To date, no weapon created has been bad enough to be named after Chuck Norris.
02-11-2008 10:00 AM
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El_Fantastico Offline
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Post: #63
RE: The Longest Thread
Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.
02-11-2008 10:01 AM
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El_Fantastico Offline
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Post: #64
RE: The Longest Thread
It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris' skin.
02-11-2008 10:01 AM
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El_Fantastico Offline
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Post: #65
RE: The Longest Thread
Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
02-11-2008 10:01 AM
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El_Fantastico Offline
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Post: #66
RE: The Longest Thread
Once you go Norris, you are physically unable to go back.
02-11-2008 10:02 AM
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El_Fantastico Offline
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Post: #67
RE: The Longest Thread
Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.
02-11-2008 10:02 AM
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El_Fantastico Offline
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Post: #68
RE: The Longest Thread
Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children.
02-11-2008 10:02 AM
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El_Fantastico Offline
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Post: #69
RE: The Longest Thread
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
02-11-2008 10:03 AM
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El_Fantastico Offline
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Post: #70
RE: The Longest Thread
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
02-11-2008 10:03 AM
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El_Fantastico Offline
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Post: #71
RE: The Longest Thread
If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
02-11-2008 10:04 AM
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El_Fantastico Offline
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Post: #72
RE: The Longest Thread
I got plenty more where these came from!
02-11-2008 10:05 AM
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El_Fantastico Offline
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Post: #73
RE: The Longest Thread
If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your butt.
02-11-2008 10:06 AM
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El_Fantastico Offline
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Post: #74
RE: The Longest Thread
Chuck Norris's show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.
02-11-2008 10:06 AM
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El_Fantastico Offline
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Post: #75
RE: The Longest Thread
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
02-11-2008 10:06 AM
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El_Fantastico Offline
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Post: #76
RE: The Longest Thread
The US did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow due to political reasons: Chuck Norris killed the entire US team with a single round-house kick during TaeKwonDo practice.
02-11-2008 10:08 AM
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El_Fantastico Offline
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Post: #77
RE: The Longest Thread
It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
02-11-2008 12:48 PM
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El_Fantastico Offline
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Post: #78
RE: The Longest Thread
Chuck Norris was what Willis was talkin' about.
02-11-2008 12:55 PM
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El_Fantastico Offline
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Post: #79
RE: The Longest Thread
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
02-11-2008 12:56 PM
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El_Fantastico Offline
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Post: #80
RE: The Longest Thread
Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
02-11-2008 12:57 PM
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