Pulling this out form the "masks" thread, as stated:

(07-16-2020 10:28 AM)GoodOwl Wrote:  

(07-16-2020 10:19 AM)stinkfist Wrote:  

(07-16-2020 10:17 AM)Eagleaidaholic Wrote:  I believe the reality in Miami. Masks don't stop anything. The virus doesn't care if you wear a mask. We are under a mandatory mask order since Monday in the two counties I live and work. I go in and get out of stores as fast as I can, because when I wear one I "overbreath". Before the mask order from the King of Mississippi I would breath normally through my nose. Not anymore. I look for a drastic increase in the number of sick people in the coming weeks due to people wearing dirty cloth masks, which are proven to not work and by touching the outside of their masks with dirty hands. Oh and for Hyperventilating in stores etc.

I have yet to don one....they're gonna have to cuff my fk'n arse....

it's amazing how shopping on AMZN and Carol & Mike's farmers market can yield...

I respect the sovereignty of private businesses to decide how they want to do business. If I want something from a store/business and they require a mask, I'll wear one while there or decide not to go at all...but they generally lose more from me and others than if they decided to be more reasonable. here again, it's their fear of lawsuits and lawyers (Surprise!) rather than any scientific understanding. Lawyers screw up more of our country than any other single group. But that's another thread of its own. Trump pisses off lawyers mostly, and that's one more reason to like trump and vote for Trump despite his personality quirks.

While I understand the need for laws and some ijn the legal profession, it seems whenever there is a major idiocy, more often than not lawyers are at the root of the problem. What was perhaps once a nobler profession has devolved into a morass of swampy lethargy, larceny and wasteful indifference to common sense.

Too many lawyers in Politics and in Congress and government positions, that's for sure. Need more balance in backgrounds and other professions--that's one big reason I can overlook Trump's personality flaws and vote for him. He is getting the actual job right (like the infrastructure announcement yesterday that received scant media coverage but will help millions of poor and middle-class Americans as well as make our country stronger and safer), and Trump takes lawyers with a boulder of salty. We need more leaders and way less lawyers.


So, post away, what's your opinion on lawyers today?

Extra points given for good lawyer jokes and memes.


+3s for:

Bartlett, Graybeard, ArmyBlazer, DaSaint, BearCatlett, Jugnaut, banker, rath,

What do you call 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start.


I know that's an old one, but I hope it answers your question as to my opinion on lawyers.

(07-16-2020 10:54 AM)BartlettTigerFan Wrote:  What do you call 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start.


I know that's an old one, but I hope it answers your question as to my opinion on lawyers.

I can’t stand them

As I'm work as a contractor for a major one...

There are good ones, who are decent people.
Then there are the bastards who think they're that much better than you...

Ironically, other than some in a certain deep south state, you can almost always tell where they're from just based on those two opinions.

To be honest, I think judges are typically worse than lawyers in terms of personas, especially activists judges. Because if a lawyer gets stuck with bad judges a lot, the lawyer eventually slides down the "bastard" scale even more:



"A Good lawyer knows the law. A Great Lawyer Knows the Judge"

My problem with lawyers is that they're nothing about the "law" at all. They only know the law to the extent that they can twist it into their favor.

A lawyer will look you right in the eye and argue that there is no black and white as they both are only different shades of grey.

Look at Bill Clinton. Caught red handed lying. Still denying it to this day. But I guess it just depends on what the definition of "is" is, right?

We can't even decide what we are now days thanks to lawyers. Used to be we were either a boy or a girl. Now we can't even decide what bathroom to use on our own.

And where do you think all this mucked up thinking came from?

Why can't we have a loser pays legal system? Makes sense to me. Because if we tried to implement it, every lawyer in the country would sue to have it stopped.

As one lawyer said to the other... "How could this lawsuit be frivolous? We're both making money!"

How is a lawyer like a prostitute? They both screw people for money.

How is a lawyer different than a prostitute? A prostitute stops screwing you when you're dead.


I'm a lawyer, a prosecutor. I enjoy what I do. The vast majority of government lawyers I've met have been great people. The private lawyers have been a mixed bag of colorful characters. Some friendly and competent, some loveable rascals, and some incompetent a-holes. It's scary to me that people pay the thousands of dollars to incompetent weasel attorneys.

I’m an attorney licensed in 3 states and admitted to 6 federal districts.

Older I get, more I kind of view what I do as a plumber or electrician...instead of septic systems and electric panels, I install, troubleshoot, repair, and update companies and matters for individuals.

Lawyers are whores in a sense. They will do whatever you pay them to do.

Watching these people vigorously defend murderers and rapists and lots of other guilty people every day. I get it, that is their job, but man-o-man your moral compass has to be damaged at the very least.

No they won’t. That’s just silly.

At least not he ones who stay licensed and those who don’t have to call their legal malpractice carriers.

(07-17-2020 06:18 AM)rath v2.0 Wrote:  No they won’t. That’s just silly.

At least not he ones who stay licensed and those who don’t have to call their legal malpractice carriers.

Are you referring to my take?

If you disagree, I have two words for you... Johnny Cochran

Frequently, our society wrongly equates "legally acceptable" with "morally acceptable." Witness the tortuous legal arguments trying to figure out whether or not college athletes should be paid. Or whether or not someone is being discriminated against. Or whether or not someone is liable for an injury.

How many times have you heard the phrase: "Well, he didn't break the law, so he didn't do anything wrong."

How many times have you heard the phrase: "Well, they're liable for the damages," implying that that they're obviously wrong.

The problem is that frequently, morals have nothing to do with legality. Morality doesn't care about what is legally permissible evidence. Morality doesn't care about which LLC owns what. Morality isn't based on convoluted strings of reasoning based on laws passed by possibly corrupt legislatures about completely different topics from a time before the internet was invented.

(07-17-2020 05:55 AM)Eldonabe Wrote:  Lawyers are whores in a sense. They will do whatever you pay them to do.

Watching these people vigorously defend murderers and rapists and lots of other guilty people every day. I get it, that is their job, but man-o-man your moral compass has to be damaged at the very least.

Sometimes, these people are not guilty of the crimes they are being charged with. The good criminal defense attorneys never ask their clients whether they did it or not. They don’t want to know, knowing inhibits you’re ability to defend with zeal.

As Rath said, like other skilled labor these guys have jobs to do.

(07-17-2020 06:51 AM)Eldonabe Wrote:  

(07-17-2020 06:18 AM)rath v2.0 Wrote:  No they won’t. That’s just silly.

At least not he ones who stay licensed and those who don’t have to call their legal malpractice carriers.

Are you referring to my take?

If you disagree, I have two words for you... Johnny Cochran

You have a myopic view of what constitutes the practice of law.

Attorneys worth their salt more often than not advise their clients what to do. They don’t do what they are told due to being “whores” as you so eloquently put into prose. You must be one of those who think Law and Order or LA Law were representative and not just fairytale BS.

First step in the attorney client relationship is having a potential client get over the hurdle of passing my interview of them. If they expect their attorney to do whatever they are paid to do as you say, I smile and wish them well in the endeavors. Like in any business, someone down stream will take their money.

As far as criminal law goes, in millions of cases, the role of the attorney is not to get their client off of a crime they committed, it’s merely to get them fair, constitutionally protected representation so that they get a fair adjudication and commensurate sentence. Managing the landing so to speak.

The millions of cases where that happens don’t get coverage. Johnny Cochran. Good Lord. That’s what you think? Lol

(07-17-2020 05:55 AM)Eldonabe Wrote:  Lawyers are whores in a sense. They will do whatever you pay them to do.

Watching these people vigorously defend murderers and rapists and lots of other guilty people every day. I get it, that is their job, but man-o-man your moral compass has to be damaged at the very least.

That’s not really true. I’ll work towards achieving my client’s goal, but I’m not doing anything that I consider to be ethically or morally questionable. I’m very up front with clients about that and I’ll fire a client if they persist.

As to criminal defense attorneys, most that I know view their job as holding the government’s feet to the fire. Just because a person is accused of a serious crime doesn’t mean that the government no longer bears the burden of proof and the constitutional rights of the accused don’t go out the window. A big part of a defense attorney’s job is to make sure the process is respected and to help ensure a fair outcome. It’s an incredibly taxing job, but it’s a necessary one.

I have a huge soft spot for commercial/corporate attorneys. As a person who lend money, I couldn't do my job without them because I have no way of knowing the nuances of all the laws in the states that I do business. It's a job I would never want due to what I view as the overly tedious nature of the profession.

An unfortunate side to my business is that I end up getting involved in lawsuits when deals go bad. Because of this I have given many long depositions. This has given me a healthy disrespect for a lot of litigators. Listening to them twist, infer, imply, etc. strains my believe in the whole notion of "the search for the truth" concept.

Then there are bankruptcies attorneys and the whole bankruptcy court system. That's a farce.

(07-17-2020 06:53 AM)Captain Bearcat Wrote:  Frequently, our society wrongly equates "legally acceptable" with "morally acceptable." Witness the tortuous legal arguments trying to figure out whether or not college athletes should be paid. Or whether or not someone is being discriminated against. Or whether or not someone is liable for an injury.

How many times have you heard the phrase: "Well, he didn't break the law, so he didn't do anything wrong."

How many times have you heard the phrase: "Well, they're liable for the damages," implying that that they're obviously wrong.

The problem is that frequently, morals have nothing to do with legality. Morality doesn't care about what is legally permissible evidence. Morality doesn't care about which LLC owns what. Morality isn't based on convoluted strings of reasoning based on laws passed by possibly corrupt legislatures about completely different topics from a time before the internet was invented.

Or what Trump did is wrong. He is a criminal.

(07-17-2020 08:47 AM)banker Wrote:  I have a huge soft spot for commercial/corporate attorneys. As a person who lend money, I couldn't do my job without them because I have no way of knowing the nuances of all the laws in the states that I do business. It's a job I would never want due to what I view as the overly tedious nature of the profession.

An unfortunate side to my business is that I end up getting involved in lawsuits when deals go bad. Because of this I have given many long depositions. This has given me a healthy disrespect for a lot of litigators. Listening to them twist, infer, imply, etc. strains my believe in the whole notion of "the search for the truth" concept.

Then there are bankruptcies attorneys and the whole bankruptcy court system. That's a farce.

There was a former law firm attorney who came to work for our company as corporate attorney. He said he had to get into corporate law because he hated being an ******* all day long. I've been on 7 juries and done a deposition. There are a lot of trial attorneys who behave like ******** all day long.

(07-16-2020 11:25 AM)DaSaintFan Wrote:  As I'm work as a contractor for a major one...

There are good ones, who are decent people.
Then there are the bastards who think they're that much better than you...

Ironically, other than some in a certain deep south state, you can almost always tell where they're from just based on those two opinions.

To be honest, I think judges are typically worse than lawyers in terms of personas, especially activists judges. Because if a lawyer gets stuck with bad judges a lot, the lawyer eventually slides down the "bastard" scale even more:



"A Good lawyer knows the law. A Great Lawyer Knows the Judge"

I'm going to agree that as bad as some lawyers can be, many judges are far worse....although they spring from the same trees. +3 for you.

(07-16-2020 11:33 AM)Jugnaut Wrote:  How is a lawyer like a prostitute? They both screw people for money.

How is a lawyer different than a prostitute? A prostitute stops screwing you when you're dead.


I'm a lawyer, a prosecutor. I enjoy what I do. The vast majority of government lawyers I've met have been great people. The private lawyers have been a mixed bag of colorful characters. Some friendly and competent, some loveable rascals, and some incompetent a-holes. It's scary to me that people pay the thousands of dollars to incompetent weasel attorneys.

I appreciate your comments. yes, certainly there are some very good and even noble lawyers out there trying to do a decent job. Then there are too many scumbag lawyers who screw it up for the rest of the profession and our citizens.