Everyone,

I am writing a personal story and seeing if anyone has dealt with this. I have a five month old baby girl and luckily, she has been vaccinated up to date. Unfortunately, however, my wife has gone down the rabbit hole of anti-Vaxxers and wants to refuse all vaccines going forward. I'm very distraught by this, but my wife is steadfast, and won't listen to reason. She's convinced that vaccines don't work and are dangerous because of garbage on the internet. I've watched videos with her and its obvious to me that her "evidence" is testimonials and pseudo-science. The overwhelming weight of actual science is on the side of vaccines. I hate that it is so easy to mislead people with internet junk.

I was wondering if anyone else had been through this dilemma. Right now, I'm hoping to be able to compromise with my wife on an alternative or delayed vaccine schedule as the best way for me to damage control. If I just went out and got my baby secretly vaccinated, I think she would divorce me because she thinks I harmed our child/violated her trust. I'm in a really tough situation here and it has caught me by surprise. Any advice from your own lives would be appreciated.

(01-21-2018 07:55 AM)Jugnaut Wrote:  Everyone,

I am writing a personal story and seeing if anyone has dealt with this. I have a five month old baby girl and luckily, she has been vaccinated up to date. Unfortunately, however, my wife has gone down the rabbit hole of anti-Vaxxers and wants to refuse all vaccines going forward. I'm very distraught by this, but my wife is steadfast, and won't listen to reason. She's convinced that vaccines don't work and are dangerous because of garbage on the internet. I've watched videos with her and its obvious to me that her "evidence" is testimonials and pseudo-science. The overwhelming weight of actual science is on the side of vaccines. I hate that it is so easy to mislead people with internet junk.

I was wondering if anyone else had been through this dilemma. Right now, I'm hoping to be able to compromise with my wife on an alternative or delayed vaccine schedule as the best way for me to damage control. If I just went out and got my baby secretly vaccinated, I think she would divorce me because she thinks I harmed our child/violated her trust. I'm in a really tough situation here and it has caught me by surprise. Any advice from your own lives would be appreciated.

In my city there is a free walk in clinic for vaccines. Just take your child and don't tell your wife. Let her win the little ones like the flu shot and hepatitis, HPV, and Chicken Pox.

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

Our pediatrician was a bit of a hippy and really empathized with a lot of the people out there blaming vaccines for their children's autism and whatnot, while recognizing the need for vaccines for the safety of the American public. For our children, she spread out the shots over a greater number of visits than normal, so she wasn't just pumping several vaccines into the babies st each visit.

I don't know exactly what your wife's reservations are, but maybe a doctor like ours that would listen to her concerns while still insisting that the child needs the vaccines would be a solution.

whatever it takes, convince her otherwise....

don't listen to these dipshites on the internutz....they know not what they speaketh.....

arguments have been made there are certain vaccines that are unnecessary that contribute to autism.....there is no question over vaccination (which the U.S. does relative to Europe) can be a concern.....

however, this is where I put faith in prevailing science.....my daughter is now 18.7.....it was never an option to say "no"....

to add..... when her overwhelmed 1st grade teacher tried to tell me she was ADHD and needed to be placed on those mind numbing meds, that biatch got the finga and a few other choice words....

I don't know if this helps, but that's a summary from my experience and knowledge base....

(01-21-2018 07:55 AM)Jugnaut Wrote:  Everyone,

I am writing a personal story and seeing if anyone has dealt with this. I have a five month old baby girl and luckily, she has been vaccinated up to date. Unfortunately, however, my wife has gone down the rabbit hole of anti-Vaxxers and wants to refuse all vaccines going forward. I'm very distraught by this, but my wife is steadfast, and won't listen to reason. She's convinced that vaccines don't work and are dangerous because of garbage on the internet. I've watched videos with her and its obvious to me that her "evidence" is testimonials and pseudo-science. The overwhelming weight of actual science is on the side of vaccines. I hate that it is so easy to mislead people with internet junk.

I was wondering if anyone else had been through this dilemma. Right now, I'm hoping to be able to compromise with my wife on an alternative or delayed vaccine schedule as the best way for me to damage control. If I just went out and got my baby secretly vaccinated, I think she would divorce me because she thinks I harmed our child/violated her trust. I'm in a really tough situation here and it has caught me by surprise. Any advice from your own lives would be appreciated.

Id go the delayed route first. Sorry you have this drama.

I alway tell new parents one thing. Do not give your child cows milk for the first couple of years. Im convinced that is why my daughter has Type 1 diabetes. There is a rare virus in cows milk that looks very much like the T cells in the pancreas. Since Type 1 is an autoimmune disease...it is possible that this could be the cause. There are differing opinions on this subject and nothing has been totally verified scientifically.. Id just stay away from cows milk for a while until your child grows strong... just to be safe.

It really is the height of human stupidity to be against what has saved billions.

We stayed away from pertussis vaccines because our oldest ended up in ICU as a 3 month old due to a an anaphylactic reaction to that one.

My relative is a pediatric and neo-natal gastro-enterologist at one of the nation's finest hospitals.
His opinion is that every medical intervention (surgeries, therapies, medications, etc) including vaccines, all come with some risks (albeit small ones for vaccines) but the benefits far outweigh the risks. Children don't get sick and die today of diseases like they did 75 years ago because of vaccines. That's not magic, it's science.

It also is not fair for some parents to put other children at risk by not vaccinating their own children and depending on herd immunity. If enough parents go that route, herd immunity is diminished and the Genie is back out of the bottle. This mentality (and unvaccinated illegal aliens) is why we have outbreaks of whooping couch and measles.

On the cows milk leading to diabetes issue mentioned above...while there was a study in Finland that showed a connection between cows milk in early infancy that study has been pretty much debunked.
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shot...betes-risk

(01-21-2018 09:55 AM)rath v2.0 Wrote:  We stayed away from pertussis vaccines because our oldest ended up in ICU as a 3 month old due to a an anaphylactic reaction to that one.

To not vaccinate your younger children with that one vax due to an allergic reaction by an older sibling makes sense since allergies can run in families. That's using common sense not fear.

Never trust the government. Man made drugs do have problems they won't tell you about. Which is why I like mine natural.

I wouldn't say don't take them, but I would research and spread the shots out over time like others have suggested.

(01-21-2018 10:16 AM)mptnstr@44 Wrote:  

(01-21-2018 09:55 AM)rath v2.0 Wrote:  We stayed away from pertussis vaccines because our oldest ended up in ICU as a 3 month old due to a an anaphylactic reaction to that one.

To not vaccinate your younger children with that one vax due to an allergic reaction by an older sibling makes sense since allergies can run in families. That's using common sense not fear.

Maybe isolate what was in that one that caused the problem too. If there is a preservative or other ingredient that was the problem, the one with the allergy needs to know.

If it were something other than the vaccine, lot of them can be given in a different form.

One of the great failures of the American education system is understanding risk (to the delight of lottery and casino operators).

Kids do end up getting sick and even dying from vaccines but even more get sick and die without them.

As Rath noted there are some who have a reaction that is dangerous. When I was a kid I had a condition that made me ineligible to take the small pox vaccine and I was going to need a medical waiver to enter first grade but the summer before first grade the small pox vaccine was removed from the required list so I never needed the waiver. The reason it was removed was that enough people had gotten the vaccine that it was then confined to a few small parts of undeveloped Africa and would be declared extinct in the wild several years later.

Polio crippled and killed thousands every year, now Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Nigeria are the only places left where it is "in the wild" and there is a real chance it can be the third disease ever eradicated by human effort, but there is also a risk some unvaccinated contractor or some refugee carrying it could bring it to the US and sweep through a community with low vaccination rates (looking at you California) which did have a scare in 2014 when a virus similar to polio effected over 50 people.

This is one of the risks of free speech. People can make up any bull they want and find an audience.

Now people sit around and think up stuff that sounds reasonable and logical to them and post it. My grandmother told of my oldest uncle burning his hand and her mother-in-law grabbed him up and held his hand close to the stove so it would "draw the heat out". My grandmother snatched him away and plunged his hand into a bucket of freshly drawn well water. That's the crap we are regressing to. Except now its damn charlatans like Gweneth Paltrow selling $135 coffee enema kits.

If you are near a children's hospital call their public affairs/public outreach department and see if they have someone who has experience dealing with this murderous propaganda you two can sit down with.

(01-21-2018 07:55 AM)Jugnaut Wrote:  Everyone,

I am writing a personal story and seeing if anyone has dealt with this. I have a five month old baby girl and luckily, she has been vaccinated up to date. Unfortunately, however, my wife has gone down the rabbit hole of anti-Vaxxers and wants to refuse all vaccines going forward. I'm very distraught by this, but my wife is steadfast, and won't listen to reason. She's convinced that vaccines don't work and are dangerous because of garbage on the internet. I've watched videos with her and its obvious to me that her "evidence" is testimonials and pseudo-science. The overwhelming weight of actual science is on the side of vaccines. I hate that it is so easy to mislead people with internet junk.

I was wondering if anyone else had been through this dilemma. Right now, I'm hoping to be able to compromise with my wife on an alternative or delayed vaccine schedule as the best way for me to damage control. If I just went out and got my baby secretly vaccinated, I think she would divorce me because she thinks I harmed our child/violated her trust. I'm in a really tough situation here and it has caught me by surprise. Any advice from your own lives would be appreciated.

Is this because of the Wakefield garbage? His work was very thoroughly debunked, and it's easy to find scientific papers, articles, and video that explain the shoddiness of the work, the fraudulent practices he employed, and his personal financial interest in the outcome. But of course that's science and logic and it's not easy to fight emotional impulse with rational discussion.

Our older child was born right around the time the Lancet retracted Wakefield's paper. I was already suspicious based on research I'd read, but my wife was still worried about potential links (she has a bachelors in bio and masters in sport med, FYI). Fortunately we had good docs who were firm about their positions but very understanding. We ended up spacing out the vaccinations, not so much because they were 'dangerous' but because it felt less traumatic (to my wife) to give a kid only one or two vaccines at a time and visit the doc a couple of extra times.

Our second got all vaccinations on the normal schedule.

(01-21-2018 01:27 PM)Brookes Owl Wrote:  

(01-21-2018 07:55 AM)Jugnaut Wrote:  Everyone,

I am writing a personal story and seeing if anyone has dealt with this. I have a five month old baby girl and luckily, she has been vaccinated up to date. Unfortunately, however, my wife has gone down the rabbit hole of anti-Vaxxers and wants to refuse all vaccines going forward. I'm very distraught by this, but my wife is steadfast, and won't listen to reason. She's convinced that vaccines don't work and are dangerous because of garbage on the internet. I've watched videos with her and its obvious to me that her "evidence" is testimonials and pseudo-science. The overwhelming weight of actual science is on the side of vaccines. I hate that it is so easy to mislead people with internet junk.

I was wondering if anyone else had been through this dilemma. Right now, I'm hoping to be able to compromise with my wife on an alternative or delayed vaccine schedule as the best way for me to damage control. If I just went out and got my baby secretly vaccinated, I think she would divorce me because she thinks I harmed our child/violated her trust. I'm in a really tough situation here and it has caught me by surprise. Any advice from your own lives would be appreciated.

Is this because of the Wakefield garbage? His work was very thoroughly debunked, and it's easy to find scientific papers, articles, and video that explain the shoddiness of the work, the fraudulent practices he employed, and his personal financial interest in the outcome. But of course that's science and logic and it's not easy to fight emotional impulse with rational discussion.

Our older child was born right around the time the Lancet retracted Wakefield's paper. I was already suspicious based on research I'd read, but my wife was still worried about potential links (she has a bachelors in bio and masters in sport med, FYI). Fortunately we had good docs who were firm about their positions but very understanding. We ended up spacing out the vaccinations, not so much because they were 'dangerous' but because it felt less traumatic (to my wife) to give a kid only one or two vaccines at a time and visit the doc a couple of extra times.

Our second got all vaccinations on the normal schedule.

Wakefield was in one of the videos. She watches a lot of quack doctors and mothers saying that vaccines are evil or gave kids autism. She listens to the emotional appeals of sad parents not logic or evidence. I tried logic and evidence and she just ignored it. So then I sent her emotional videos of parents whose kids got sick cause of not getting vaccines and how they regret not getting them. That didn't do a whole lot. I think we'll end up compromising on a delayed or alternative schedule with me fighting for everyone. Hopefully by pre-school I can get our child fully vaccinated. I'm so angry and frustrated by this garbage but not much I can do to change her view, she's convinced she's found the "truth". And she thinks I'm the one who just doesn't know the truth, history, science etc. It's crazy. My wife normally has a lot of common sense. This is the biggest issue to come up in our relationship. She's just so terrified that our girl is going to get autism from vaccines. Nothing I can say can convince her otherwise. My wife is extremely strong willed or stubborn.

(01-21-2018 08:38 AM)Chappy Wrote:  Our pediatrician was a bit of a hippy and really empathized with a lot of the people out there blaming vaccines for their children's autism and whatnot, while recognizing the need for vaccines for the safety of the American public. For our children, she spread out the shots over a greater number of visits than normal, so she wasn't just pumping several vaccines into the babies st each visit.

I don't know exactly what your wife's reservations are, but maybe a doctor like ours that would listen to her concerns while still insisting that the child needs the vaccines would be a solution.

Thanks, yeah that's where I'm hoping we end up. I can handle an alternative schedule. I just need her to fully embraced that idea.

I don't have an answer. Sadly, educated people fall down the rabbit hole and it has an impact on young people.

After reading this thread yesterday, I found this post on reddit.

https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/7..._wasnt_an/

I am not smart enough to tell you what to do, but I leave you with this conversation paraphrase I had with my father, who has an MBA and and MS in Engineering from Illinois, and was a international oil executive for 30 years.

Dad: "Stanley, when I was growing up I didn't know anyone who had any allergies."
LS: "Dad, that's because they all died from their allergies."

Modern medicine is not infallible, but kids die without vaccinations or close management and attention to allergies.

You're in a tough spot. Give her peer reviewed science. Give her stuff debunking the junk science. I wouldn't do it secretly, but I would fight very hard to get your child the vaccines. Make sure she understands how important it is to you. Maybe you could scare her about CPS taking the children away for not vaccinating (do NOT get CPS involved).

People believe the most ridiculous things because they read them on the internet. There's a massive failure in critical thinking in our society. Don't know why. Maybe they have been trained in reading reference materials and now are flooded with garbage from the internet and assume if well prepared that it is valid.

When my wife received the Hepatitis B vaccine, it triggered an autoimmune reaction and now she's dealing with a whole host of previously dormant/nonexistent autoimmune issues.

You just never know.

We had our children vaccinated and I would do it again. My nephews child is not vaccinated and I worry for the child. Besides that she will not be allowed to go to school if she is not vaccinated.

As for the flu shot? I don't get it anymore because every time I received the flu shot I got the flu.

And statins. I refuse to take statins even though my LIPID panel is horrible. I have a genetic disorder that makes my LIPIDS go sky high. My mother has it also and we both are thin people. But on the flip side my family is cursed with ALS. So I figure if I go out with a heart attack it will be a blessing.