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In light of today's, OJ "Oscar" Pestoious and Isabella Express Card verdicts, it's clear to me that crime "could" pay.

My school district sent out letters to retirees today asking them to come out of retirement and sub in the classroom. They offer a daily wage nearly 25% above what Subservices, the independent contractor pays. But in light of today's ruling, I thinking that working for a wage is for suckers.

It's clear there is a risk reward coefficient that perhaps the "legal eagles" here could help me with.

1. Contract killer. There are a lot of spouses out there who would probably like to use this service. Big money potential, but a high risk.....unless you can run the 100 meters on prosthetics.

2. Sexual predictor. Not much in it financially, but could possibly add to my sex life. Not tolerated in most cities, but seems to be more acceptable in the Florida panhandle.

3. Tribal Casino pick pocket. The beauty of this crime is that similar crimes seem to go unnoticed for months.

4. Purse snatcher. This one seems most logical to me. I have no criminal arrest record, so the courts should be lenient on me.

So I go in, whack an old lady over the head, grab her purse, take her credit card, and fill up my tank at the BP. Worst case scenario, I get free gas for months until I'm busted, they charge me with a couple of meaningless felonies, I plead senility like Uncle Leo, they let me off with the equivalent of a parking ticket, and I'm back at home by 5.

Appreciate your input.

3. Tribal Casino pick pocket. You can max the credit cards out like Rawls.

(10-21-2014 10:10 PM)WMU83 Wrote:  3. Tribal Casino pick pocket. You can max the credit cards out like Rawls.

Not exactly. He didn't max it out, but he was smart in that he used them at a gas pump where no one would question that the name on the credit card is Doris, and he's a male.

But, I do like the idea that you can remain unnoticed after being busted.

Firekeepers is close by, I'll consider your feedback.

https://www.cmich.edu/ess/studentaffairs...dents.aspx

Not trying to encourage you, but thought you might find this an interesting read knowing what their punishment to Rawls was. Seems to me that the school and not the football team failed at enforcing their own student conduct policy.

John, I don't know where you're going with this. I'm looking for a second career here.

Forget it. There is an old saying that says, "Tis better to remain silent and be thought of a fool. Than to speak and remove all doubt." I apparently have a harder time remembering that saying then I originally thought.

(10-21-2014 11:01 PM)John52168 Wrote:  Forget it. There is an old saying that says, "Tis better to remain silent and be thought of a fool. Than to speak and remove all doubt." I apparently have a harder time remembering that saying then I originally thought.

Not a problem, I know you were just trying to help.

What do you think about the idea of becoming a man whore? In terms of time on task it would be minimal. Time to earnings ratio would be excellent. Can't see it being a priority with law enforcement either. There has to be plenty of old widows anxious to get back in the saddle. I've had worse jobs

Bravol, what's the charge if I'm busted for man whoring?

Quote:Bravol, what's the charge if I'm busted for man whoring?

Two game suspension. :)

(10-21-2014 11:40 PM)Chipdip2 Wrote:  

(10-21-2014 11:01 PM)John52168 Wrote:  Forget it. There is an old saying that says, "Tis better to remain silent and be thought of a fool. Than to speak and remove all doubt." I apparently have a harder time remembering that saying then I originally thought.

Not a problem, I know you were just trying to help.

What do you think about the idea of becoming a man whore? In terms of time on task it would be minimal. Time to earnings ratio would be excellent. Can't see it being a priority with law enforcement either. There has to be plenty of old widows anxious to get back in the saddle. I've had worse jobs

Bravol, what's the charge if I'm busted for man whoring?

I understand that you are asking me because of my legal experience, but when you have someone else with so much apparent practical experience in this particular area you should probable just go to the expert on "man whoring". So, Toddjnsn help Dip out here.

(10-22-2014 05:39 AM)brovol Wrote:  

(10-21-2014 11:40 PM)Chipdip2 Wrote:  

(10-21-2014 11:01 PM)John52168 Wrote:  Forget it. There is an old saying that says, "Tis better to remain silent and be thought of a fool. Than to speak and remove all doubt." I apparently have a harder time remembering that saying then I originally thought.

Not a problem, I know you were just trying to help.

What do you think about the idea of becoming a man whore? In terms of time on task it would be minimal. Time to earnings ratio would be excellent. Can't see it being a priority with law enforcement either. There has to be plenty of old widows anxious to get back in the saddle. I've had worse jobs

Bravol, what's the charge if I'm busted for man whoring?

I understand that you are asking me because of my legal experience, but when you have someone else with so much apparent practical experience in this particular area you should probable just go to the expert on "man whoring". So, Toddjnsn help Dip out here.

Man whoring seems victimless and dosent get as messy legally as some of the other crime occupations mentioned. Have you considered, renting and selling homes that dont belong to you? Maybe Ponzi and scam investment schemes. You can accumulate large sums of money and plan your escape to FiJi or somesuch island before your victims are on to you of course once you abscond with their cash everyone will be looking for you but you can plan your escape well in advance, leave and change your appearance, and learn how to live off the grid. This crime might really pay. You can then become the benevolent neighbor in your new neighborhood and no one will suspect you.

(10-21-2014 11:40 PM)Chipdip2 Wrote:  

(10-21-2014 11:01 PM)John52168 Wrote:  Forget it. There is an old saying that says, "Tis better to remain silent and be thought of a fool. Than to speak and remove all doubt." I apparently have a harder time remembering that saying then I originally thought.

Not a problem, I know you were just trying to help.

What do you think about the idea of becoming a man whore? In terms of time on task it would be minimal. Time to earnings ratio would be excellent. Can't see it being a priority with law enforcement either. There has to be plenty of old widows anxious to get back in the saddle. I've had worse jobs

Bravol, what's the charge if I'm busted for man whoring?

Well, considering that I believe in having morals and ethics, I don't agree wuth any kind of whoring. But I'm sure that the powers that be north of Alma would award you with the "Player" of the Year award.

(10-22-2014 06:52 AM)goldsworth Wrote:  

(10-22-2014 05:39 AM)brovol Wrote:  

(10-21-2014 11:40 PM)Chipdip2 Wrote:  

(10-21-2014 11:01 PM)John52168 Wrote:  Forget it. There is an old saying that says, "Tis better to remain silent and be thought of a fool. Than to speak and remove all doubt." I apparently have a harder time remembering that saying then I originally thought.

Not a problem, I know you were just trying to help.

What do you think about the idea of becoming a man whore? In terms of time on task it would be minimal. Time to earnings ratio would be excellent. Can't see it being a priority with law enforcement either. There has to be plenty of old widows anxious to get back in the saddle. I've had worse jobs

Bravol, what's the charge if I'm busted for man whoring?

I understand that you are asking me because of my legal experience, but when you have someone else with so much apparent practical experience in this particular area you should probable just go to the expert on "man whoring". So, Toddjnsn help Dip out here.

Man whoring seems victimless and dosent get as messy legally as some of the other crime occupations mentioned. Have you considered, renting and selling homes that dont belong to you? Maybe Ponzi and scam investment schemes. You can accumulate large sums of money and plan your escape to FiJi or somesuch island before your victims are on to you of course once you abscond with their cash everyone will be looking for you but you can plan your escape well in advance, leave and change your appearance, and learn how to live off the grid. This crime might really pay. You can then become the benevolent neighbor in your new neighborhood and no one will suspect you.

Yes,yes, a good point.

For a one time minimal investment with me, I will guarantee you a 20% return on your money. I will send you a statement each quarter. In turn you must leave your initial investment, plus the interest with my firm for a minimum of 20 years.

Send cash, gold or a money order to
Seymore, Winston & Rawls Associates
Rapum & Cillem Building
212 Snacher Dr.
Dominican Republic

Dip = William "D-Fens" Foster

Quote:with so much apparent practical experience in this particular area you should probable just go to the expert on "man whoring". So, Toddjnsn help Dip out here.

Well, if caught in the locker-room doing such shenanigans, I would imagine a 2-game suspension. If you steal her purse after whoring yourself out (you're supposed to just take the money she Owes you, as a professional man-whore) -- that's another 2-game suspension.

(10-22-2014 08:49 AM)Chipdip2 Wrote:  For a one time minimal investment with me, I will guarantee you a 20% return on your money. I will send you a statement each quarter. In turn you must leave your initial investment, plus the interest with my firm for a minimum of 20 years.

Send cash, gold or a money order to
Seymore, Winston & Rawls Associates
Rapum & Cillem Building
212 Snacher Dr.
Dominican Republic

Do you take credit cards?

(10-22-2014 12:22 PM)WesternSkillet Wrote:  

(10-22-2014 08:49 AM)Chipdip2 Wrote:  For a one time minimal investment with me, I will guarantee you a 20% return on your money. I will send you a statement each quarter. In turn you must leave your initial investment, plus the interest with my firm for a minimum of 20 years.

Send cash, gold or a money order to
Seymore, Winston & Rawls Associates
Rapum & Cillem Building
212 Snacher Dr.
Dominican Republic

Do you take credit cards?

Absolutely! We literally take credit cards.

Joseph Randle gets caught shoplifting, ESPN reporting that he's been cleared to play for the Dallas Cowboys this weekend anyways.

On top of that... he got an endorsement deal out of it! You can't even make this stuff up anymore.

http://www.myfoxdfw.com/story/26831922/c...ing-arrest

Quote:DALLAS - The Dallas Cowboys player who arrested in Frisco earlier this month for stealing underwear will soon be endorsing them.

According to FOX Sports Southwest, Joseph Randle has partnered with MeUndies. He'll get an undisclosed amount of money and free underwear.

I'm beginning to really evaluate my life right now, and what gets me further in life?
1) Being a good citizen?
2) Stealing credit cards from the elderly?
3) Shoplifting apparel and getting endorsement deals out of it?

No Chad Curtis resets, yet?

(10-23-2014 09:00 AM)Hoekjeness Wrote:  Joseph Randle gets caught shoplifting, ESPN reporting that he's been cleared to play for the Dallas Cowboys this weekend anyways.

On top of that... he got an endorsement deal out of it! You can't even make this stuff up anymore.

http://www.myfoxdfw.com/story/26831922/c...ing-arrest

Quote:DALLAS - The Dallas Cowboys player who arrested in Frisco earlier this month for stealing underwear will soon be endorsing them.

According to FOX Sports Southwest, Joseph Randle has partnered with MeUndies. He'll get an undisclosed amount of money and free underwear.

I'm beginning to really evaluate my life right now, and what gets me further in life?
1) Being a good citizen?
2) Stealing credit cards from the elderly?
3) Shoplifting apparel and getting endorsement deals out of it?

Hense my name

(10-21-2014 10:04 PM)Chipdip2 Wrote:  2. Sexual predictor. Not much in it financially, but could possibly add to my sex life. Not tolerated in most cities, but seems to be more acceptable in the Florida panhandle.

Predictor? Are you predicting people's chances of having sex? I'm sure someone would pay for that.