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Why you shouldn't trust dating site photos - this noob messed up
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flyingswoosh Offline
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Post: #141
RE: Why you shouldn't trust dating site photos - this noob messed up
(08-12-2014 02:33 PM)gdunn Wrote:  If I was the type not looking for someone and looking for a quick hook up, the internet would be where I'd look using a dating site. I never was that guy. Not saying anything bad bout smn.

Perhaps it's a generational difference, but I'd say the majority of singles (male and female) in their 20s who live in big cities, have used Tinder, OkCupid, Jdate, Match, etc. at one point or another. I think BucFyre is trying to make it seem like anyone who uses a dating site can't throw stones because they've obviously got something wrong with them.

In fact, one of my best guy friends used to use Match, Tinder and Jdate all the time. Match has a lot of great events where you go as a group of 3 and you get set up with a group of 3 girls. This can take place anywhere -bar, bowling alley, restaurant - and they do them multiple times a week. Funnily enough he ended up meeting his current girlfriend through a jewish matchmaking service where the girl pays the matchmaker to set her up with a quality jewish guy.
08-12-2014 02:47 PM
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flyingswoosh Offline
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Post: #142
RE: Why you shouldn't trust dating site photos - this noob messed up
(08-12-2014 02:25 PM)gdunn Wrote:  I met my wife at a bar...

May I ask your age? I get the feeling picking up in a girl today is much different than it was whenever you met your wife
08-12-2014 02:55 PM
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gdunn Offline
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Post: #143
RE: Why you shouldn't trust dating site photos - this noob messed up
(08-12-2014 02:55 PM)flyingswoosh Wrote:  
(08-12-2014 02:25 PM)gdunn Wrote:  I met my wife at a bar...

May I ask your age? I get the feeling picking up in a girl today is much different than it was whenever you met your wife

I'm 32. We met when I was 26.
08-12-2014 03:05 PM
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flyingswoosh Offline
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Post: #144
RE: Why you shouldn't trust dating site photos - this noob messed up
(08-12-2014 03:05 PM)gdunn Wrote:  
(08-12-2014 02:55 PM)flyingswoosh Wrote:  
(08-12-2014 02:25 PM)gdunn Wrote:  I met my wife at a bar...

May I ask your age? I get the feeling picking up in a girl today is much different than it was whenever you met your wife

I'm 32. We met when I was 26.

again, i stand corrected
08-12-2014 03:14 PM
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bitcruncher Offline
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Post: #145
RE: Why you shouldn't trust dating site photos - this noob messed up
I met my wife while she was painting a stage set for a play.
08-12-2014 03:53 PM
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oklalittledixie Offline
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Post: #146
RE: Why you shouldn't trust dating site photos - this noob messed up
(08-12-2014 03:53 PM)bitcruncher Wrote:  I met my wife while she was painting a stage set for a play.

and then both y'all broke out in song as you realized the play was a musical.

"Sometimes when we touch" started playing in the background right before you two brought the house down with an epic duet that got rave reviews in all the campus newspapers.
08-12-2014 04:28 PM
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UCGrad1992 Offline
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Post: #147
RE: Why you shouldn't trust dating site photos - this noob messed up
(08-11-2014 03:04 PM)toddjnsn Wrote:  
Quote:Personally, I don't think the woman in the photo is unattractive to the point she should be "razzed" because of her weight.

I do. Well, she's razzed because she's making a deceptive photo that's revealed by her huge, flabby arms in the reflection.

Quote:She may have a lot of class and much to offer in terms of her intellect, personality and heart.

She's trying to pull a stunt hiding her true (unattractive) looks and got burned. She has just as much a chance (note poor, deceptive attempt by her) of not having all that class, intellect, personality, and heart. Her photo certainly wasn't classy in spirit and she deserves to get razzed for it. And on a forum far away from the gal, on an Internet site about an Internet pic? Much less constraints about PC-talk about said person in said pic.

Congrats on knowing exactly what the motives of the woman taking the photo were (sarcasm here). Again, she can be criticized if she purposely was being deceptive (who knows except the woman who took the photo of herself). How do you know if she has class, intellect, personality or heart by looking at one picture? Did you talk to her? Did you spend some time with her?

You're missing my point about what makes someone attractive and the differences that folks have in how that is defined. If you think she is ugly or fat then that is your opinion and you are entitled to it. In my opinion I've seen far worse looking women that are more overweight than she is.
08-12-2014 04:35 PM
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bitcruncher Offline
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Post: #148
RE: Why you shouldn't trust dating site photos - this noob messed up
(08-12-2014 04:28 PM)oklalittledixie Wrote:  
(08-12-2014 03:53 PM)bitcruncher Wrote:  I met my wife while she was painting a stage set for a play.
and then both y'all broke out in song as you realized the play was a musical.

"Sometimes when we touch" started playing in the background right before you two brought the house down with an epic duet that got rave reviews in all the campus newspapers.
How did you guess it was a Light Opera Guild production she was doing that set for? 04-cheers
08-12-2014 08:30 PM
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oklalittledixie Offline
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Post: #149
RE: Why you shouldn't trust dating site photos - this noob messed up
(08-12-2014 08:30 PM)bitcruncher Wrote:  
(08-12-2014 04:28 PM)oklalittledixie Wrote:  
(08-12-2014 03:53 PM)bitcruncher Wrote:  I met my wife while she was painting a stage set for a play.
and then both y'all broke out in song as you realized the play was a musical.

"Sometimes when we touch" started playing in the background right before you two brought the house down with an epic duet that got rave reviews in all the campus newspapers.
How did you guess it was a Light Opera Guild production she was doing that set for? 04-cheers

LOL Just a hunch.
08-13-2014 08:36 AM
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gdunn Offline
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Post: #150
RE: Why you shouldn't trust dating site photos - this noob messed up
(08-12-2014 03:14 PM)flyingswoosh Wrote:  
(08-12-2014 03:05 PM)gdunn Wrote:  
(08-12-2014 02:55 PM)flyingswoosh Wrote:  
(08-12-2014 02:25 PM)gdunn Wrote:  I met my wife at a bar...

May I ask your age? I get the feeling picking up in a girl today is much different than it was whenever you met your wife

I'm 32. We met when I was 26.

again, i stand corrected
It's ok. You're from NY.. I spent some time up there.. I know the scene.. I've lived in major cities, I know what the scene is, and I know what the scene is like in smaller areas.. I've had worse luck meeting good ones in bigger areas..
08-13-2014 10:02 AM
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flyingswoosh Offline
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Post: #151
RE: Why you shouldn't trust dating site photos - this noob messed up
(08-13-2014 10:02 AM)gdunn Wrote:  
(08-12-2014 03:14 PM)flyingswoosh Wrote:  
(08-12-2014 03:05 PM)gdunn Wrote:  
(08-12-2014 02:55 PM)flyingswoosh Wrote:  
(08-12-2014 02:25 PM)gdunn Wrote:  I met my wife at a bar...

May I ask your age? I get the feeling picking up in a girl today is much different than it was whenever you met your wife

I'm 32. We met when I was 26.

again, i stand corrected
It's ok. You're from NY.. I spent some time up there.. I know the scene.. I've lived in major cities, I know what the scene is, and I know what the scene is like in smaller areas.. I've had worse luck meeting good ones in bigger areas..

yeah, like I said, dating is an absolute sh*t show in the big cities. Of my top 8 friends in NY, all of them are single. Funnily enough, many of the people I know in NC are either in a steady relationship/engaged/married.
08-13-2014 12:43 PM
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BucFyre Offline
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Post: #152
RE: Why you shouldn't trust dating site photos - this noob messed up
(08-12-2014 02:19 PM)flyingswoosh Wrote:  
(08-12-2014 01:53 PM)BucFyre Wrote:  
(08-12-2014 01:30 PM)flyingswoosh Wrote:  
(08-12-2014 10:13 AM)BucFyre Wrote:  I'm just fascinated with the fact that the OP is calling out a girl for being 'fat' on a dating site when he's on the dating site to begin with. What secrets is the OP hiding? That's the real question, imo.

I've been on OkCupid, especially when I lived in NY, where the dating scene is a sh*t show. And like Tinder, those sites are really just visually dominated and it trains you (guys and girls alike) to only think about what people look like. Not an excuse, just explaining the truth of it.

My first date on the site was with a girl who seemed really cool. We had talked every day for a week leading up to our date. Her pictures showed her to probably be a few pounds overweight, but hardly a big deal. I get to the restaurant before her and when she shows up I see a girl with multiple rolls, and not only when she's sitting down. I don't know when those pics were taken, or from what angle, but I was disappointed.

OTOH I had dates with a couple girls who were at least as pretty in person as they were in their pictures. One was a very nice girl and the other was nice, but a little immature. I don't need to hear the story about when you got very drunk and vomited on the subway.

Anyway, I think dating sites can make people crazy and train them to generally distrust pictures, especially ones that come from a dating site.

You've missed the point. He's mocking someone for being fat but he's on a dating site. Why isn't he meeting a nice young lady at the bar/library/coffee shop/club/etc.

Seems to me that maybe OP isn't quite so perfect either.

pretty sure those two things are incongruous. What does his being on a dating site have to do with anything? I don't get why you're making him out to be some kind of animal, just due to him being on a dating site. Of course he's not perfect; no one is perfect.

oh and you want him to meet a "nice young lady" at a bar or club? You need to put down the bong.

the real reason you're angry is because those initial comments were about a woman. If they had been about a guy, you wouldn't have an issue

Ok let's break this down...

You can't throw stones in a glass house. Someone is on a dating site can't/won't find a date in another matter so they're resorting to the internet to find a partner. You shouldn't criticize someone for using the same site as you for also failing to find a partner in another way.

Secondly, I don't smoke pot. Never have, never will.

As for not being able to meet someone at a bar or a club you've already conceded this could happen after gdunn spoke up. I've lived in small towns and I live in Atlanta now. Is big city dating harder, absolutely. Is it impossible to find someone to have a lasting relationship at a bar or club, nope. It happens all the time.

Lastly, don't pretend that you know my opinions on anything. If this had been a post about a guy calling him fat because he's got a bit of a beer gut I would have said the same thing. While I think people who cry about 'fat-shaming' are dumb I don't see the point in calling people out for being moderately overweight. Male or female.
08-13-2014 01:57 PM
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flyingswoosh Offline
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Post: #153
RE: Why you shouldn't trust dating site photos - this noob messed up
(08-13-2014 01:57 PM)BucFyre Wrote:  
(08-12-2014 02:19 PM)flyingswoosh Wrote:  
(08-12-2014 01:53 PM)BucFyre Wrote:  
(08-12-2014 01:30 PM)flyingswoosh Wrote:  
(08-12-2014 10:13 AM)BucFyre Wrote:  I'm just fascinated with the fact that the OP is calling out a girl for being 'fat' on a dating site when he's on the dating site to begin with. What secrets is the OP hiding? That's the real question, imo.

I've been on OkCupid, especially when I lived in NY, where the dating scene is a sh*t show. And like Tinder, those sites are really just visually dominated and it trains you (guys and girls alike) to only think about what people look like. Not an excuse, just explaining the truth of it.

My first date on the site was with a girl who seemed really cool. We had talked every day for a week leading up to our date. Her pictures showed her to probably be a few pounds overweight, but hardly a big deal. I get to the restaurant before her and when she shows up I see a girl with multiple rolls, and not only when she's sitting down. I don't know when those pics were taken, or from what angle, but I was disappointed.

OTOH I had dates with a couple girls who were at least as pretty in person as they were in their pictures. One was a very nice girl and the other was nice, but a little immature. I don't need to hear the story about when you got very drunk and vomited on the subway.

Anyway, I think dating sites can make people crazy and train them to generally distrust pictures, especially ones that come from a dating site.

You've missed the point. He's mocking someone for being fat but he's on a dating site. Why isn't he meeting a nice young lady at the bar/library/coffee shop/club/etc.

Seems to me that maybe OP isn't quite so perfect either.

pretty sure those two things are incongruous. What does his being on a dating site have to do with anything? I don't get why you're making him out to be some kind of animal, just due to him being on a dating site. Of course he's not perfect; no one is perfect.

oh and you want him to meet a "nice young lady" at a bar or club? You need to put down the bong.

the real reason you're angry is because those initial comments were about a woman. If they had been about a guy, you wouldn't have an issue

Secondly, I don't smoke pot. Never have, never will.

umm ok. it's just a saying

although as an Atlanta sports fan you would be more than justified. don't know how you do it
(This post was last modified: 08-13-2014 06:46 PM by flyingswoosh.)
08-13-2014 02:33 PM
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oklalittledixie Offline
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Post: #154
RE: Why you shouldn't trust dating site photos - this noob messed up
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08-13-2014 06:33 PM
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