RE: Dynasty Happening in the Ville
Ironically, the other worst fan base I have ever run into was Utah. I know that is an unlikely choice but believe me when I tell you those dudes were WEIRD!
We played them in the 2005 Fiesta Bowl and they beat us 134-7, or something like that. Bizarrely, after the game their fans were still LIVID and hyper combative.
It was surreal.
We stopped at a bar in Tempe after the game to drown our sorrows and lick our wounds and three different sets of Utah fans wanted to fistfight us for one reason or another. I still don't quite understand why they were so angry with us but they were really, really pissed and we all found that to be extremely weird and ungracious following such a big win for them.
The best moment though came right after the game and before some of us went to the bar. It involved, of all people, my not quite elderly (but close) mother.
When Pitt qualified for the game, I offered to pay for her and my Dad to come with us. They have been awesome parents and I wanted to do something nice for them. Before long, most of my sisters and their families (and a few of our friends) decided to join us and it was a family affair, which was very cool.
Now, you have to understand, my whole family are Pittsburgh sports fanatics (including Pitt athletics) except my mother. She could not possibly care less about Pitt football, college football at large or the sport of football as a whole. In fact, she couldn't care less about any sport. It's a little weird to be so ambivalent about something that literally everyone else in the family lives and dies with but that's just her. Personally, I think it's hilarious and it lends me perspective at times about big picture things like love, family, happiness, etc.
Though my mother could care less about sports, she loves going on trips and the chance to go to Arizona with her family in January was too much to pass up.
Anyway, she has some breathing difficulty and it takes her a while to get to and from places. With the clock winding down and it being obvious that Pitt was going to lose (we were being blown out and with bush league Urban Meyer still rank a fake kick and a fake punt late in the game), my mother asked if I would accompany her to the car, which was parked a good distance away.
Of course I agreed. And as we were making our way out of the stadium, I stopped in the bathroom to take care of business while she waited. When I came out, there was a group of Utah fans - almost all in their mid-20s I would guess - standing around her talking all kinds of horseschitt.
I mean, seriously, who taunts old ladies? Utah fans, that's who.
Now, here's the hilarious part. Because my mother has never watched sports or paid it any attention, she also has no idea what schit talking is all about. Therefore, unfortunately for them, she had no idea what was going on and was trying to answer their rhetorical taunts in the form of questions earnestly, which was frustrating them to no end.
They were saying things like, "How'd you enjoy your bowl trip?" And she was like, "Oh, we've had a delightful time. Arizona is just gorgeous and the people are so nice. How about you? How have you folks enjoyed your time here?"
They were like, "Uhhh..."
Another guy said something along the lines of, "I hope you flew here because it's going to be a long drive back to Shittsburgh." To which my ultra naive mom replied without missing a beat, "Oh, don't worry about us, honey; we flew here and it was very nice. I really like Southwest Airlines. You're right, it will be a long flight home but it's been well worth it just to spend quality time with my family."
There was just sort of a stunned silence and all sorts of confusion to go along with these idiots' misplaced anger and rage.
I then walked over and politely thanked everyone for keeping "this old lady" company while I was in the bathroom and I applauded them for their class even though they were being complete idiots.
One of the guys caught on to my sarcasm and told me to have sexual intercourse with myself. I just laughed and said something to the effect of I just got finished with his girl in the bathroom or something like that.
My mother was mortified at MY behavior and admonished me for being mean to the nice Utah fans. I just laughed and offered some half-hearted apology, telling everyone I was just kidding and asked her to move along. I then had to explain to her that they weren't being kind at all, they were being jerks but she still didn't quite get it. It was funny and in some ways, charming to see how unjaded she was. Here I was disappointed with the result of the game and her ambivalence towards it and her kindness towards the other fans, really brought things into perspective for me. We were there for a trip which happened to include an exhibition football game. Have fun with it and don't take any of it too terribly seriously.
It was sincerely one of the funniest - and strangest - exchanges I have ever seen. It was like something out of a movie.
The weird part was when I got home I visited Pitt message boards and spoke with friends who had also been out there and to a person their experiences with the Utah fans was overwhelmingly negative, before during and after the game. They just had a HUGE chip on their shoulders and made the entire experience less comfortable than was necessary.
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