Quote:With the chemically-enhanced monkeys, Wake Forest University received $71,623 to "study how monkeys react under cocaine." There's also a grant of $181,000 to see how cocaine enhances the sex drive of Japanese quail.

Quote:If this seems like an inconceivable prank, just take a look at the public university study that received $823,200 in stimulus cash to encourage Africans to undergo voluntary HIV testing and counseling. Specifically, the taxpayer dollars will be used to teach uncircumcised African men how to wash their genitals after having sex.

Quote: Researchers the State University of New York at Buffalo got $389,000 to pay 100 Buffalonians $45 each to record how much malt liquor they drink -- and how much pot smoke each day. Consumption is then reported via an automated phone hotline. Cost per job: almost $200,000.

Quote:The Obama administration is spending $5 billion to weatherize homes. But one Texas county spent $4 million to weatherize just 47 homes. That's $78,000 per house. Each retrofit is supposed to save homeowners $500 a year in energy costs. That means taxpayers will recoup their investment in 156 years, long after the home is probably torn down.